Shave Comic Strips
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17 Results for Shave
View 1 - 10 results for shave comic strips. Discover the best "Shave" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 04,
1991
Tags #elbonia, #elbonians, #yergi, #scrolls, #dog, #fall, #sky, #never, #shave, #duck, #literal, #interpret
Transcript
In Elbonia, Dogbert lies face-down in the mud in front of his crashed hover-saucer. An Elbonian points at him and says, "Look, Yergi." The Elbonian picks Dogbert up and says, "The Holy Scrolls say a dog will fall from the sky." The other Elbonian asks, "They do?" The Elbonian carrying Dogbert replies, "Actually, they say 'never shave your duck,' but it's not literal. You have to interpret." The other Elbonian asks, "You mean I CAN shave my duck?!"
Friday December 06,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electric, #razor, #burn, #face, #joke, #toaster, #shave, #problem
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Monday April 27,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #physical, #pleasure, #cosmic, #joy, #must, #shave, #rub, #stubble, #munk
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the floor across from a man in a robe. The ascetic says, "You must renounce all physical pleasure before you can achieve true cosmic joy." Dilbert replies, "Renounce it?! Heck, I don't think I've ever HAD a physical pleasure!" The spiritual advisor says, "And you must shave your head . . ." Dilbert says, "Oh, I get it; then you can rub the little stubble as it grows in!"
Sunday April 15,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #mop-up crew, #shave, #sixty, #percent, #public, #services
Transcript
Dilbert sits in an empty room wearing only his underwear. He tells Dogbert, "I always get a warm, satisfied feeling right after paying my taxes." Dilbert continues, "Sure, it's a sacrifice . . . But my money goes to support vital public services." Someone knocks on the door. Dilbert opens the door and two men in trenchcoats enter. One man says, "We're the IRS mop-up crew." The man continues, "We came to take your socks and shave sixty percent of your dog." The other man holds an electric razor. One agent shaves Dogbert while the other pulls off Dilbert's socks. Dilbert says, "Remind me to adjust my withholdings for next year."
Thursday April 11,
2002
Tags #flirting, #non smoker, #oil him up, #ordering repair guy, #shave back, #tall, #repair guy, #copier
Transcript
Carol says into the telephone, "And I'd like the copier repair guy to be a tall non- smoker with well-defined abs." Carol continues, "Oh. You're not a dating service, eh? Well if I give you money and you send some guy then it's just semantics." Carol continues, "And could you shave his back and oil him up before you send him?"
Thursday December 25,
2003
Tags #alice, #downsized, #now ork, #no shave legs, #arrested, #ice cream, #sasquatch, #tv news report
Transcript
Alice: "The good thing about being downsized is that I don't need to shave my legs." "It grows fast, but who's going to notice?" TV REPORTER: "Police surrounded a convenience store where Sasquatch attempted to buy 'Haagen Dazs.'"
Friday July 09,
2004
Tags #shave beard, #time slows, #to crawl, #envelope licker
Transcript
"I decided to shave off the beard I grew when I was waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Beard? I hadn't noticed." "This will take awhile, so I'll wait until time slows to a crawl and do it then." "Did I ever tell you about my first job as an envelope licker?" "Click"
Monday December 16,
2013
Tags #charitable organizations, #competition (psychology), #raise money, #shave head, #bald man
Transcript
Boss: If we raise $40,000 for charity, I will shave my head! Wally: And if we raise no money at all, I will shave my head. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: Is it?
Friday November 17,
1989
Thursday November 11,
1993
Tags #instructor, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #seminar, #managers, #Wally
Transcript
The instructor asks, "Who will be first to brave the hot coals?" Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand together. The man pulls Wally out of the crowd and says, "You will teach the others by example." The instructor says as there is an explosion in the background, "Now, what you learn from Wally's example is: don't use alcohol-based after-shave."