She Lied Comic Strips
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327 Results for She Lied
View 1 - 10 results for she lied comic strips. Discover the best "She Lied" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 07,
2000
Tags #presidential candiditae, #funny haired one, #social policies, #exact opposite, #tax plan, #bad plan, #make out, #like intelligent men, #she lied
Transcript
Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."
Friday November 25,
1994
Tags #continue seeing dilbert, #pass my test, #dogs are superior, #she devil
Transcript
Liz sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Liz, if you're going to continue seeing Dilbert, you'll have to pass my test." Dogbert continues, "Question one: give seven hundred reasons why dogs are superior to cats." Liz pats Dogbert on the head and says, "Well, the first six hundred reasons have to do with the fact that you're cuter." Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Fingernails! She-devil!"
Monday April 24,
2000
Tags #project plan, #without input, #lied to me, #skipped that step, #already assigned blame, #for failure
Transcript
Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."
Saturday March 15,
2003
Tags #cutomers, #delivery, #business, #took money, #winner, #lied
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "A customer keeps asking when we'll deliver the stuff they bought." The Boss asks, "When will we?" Dilbert responds, "Never, you lied to them to get their business." Dilbert continues, "You took their money and gave them nothing. Do you know what that makes you?" The Boss exclaims, "The winner!"
Tuesday September 26,
2017
Dilbert Might Have Lied
Tags #rumors, #sources, #journalism, #accusation
Transcript
Man: I heard you lied about moving the server rack. Dilbert: It isn't true. Man: I heard it from several sources. Dilbert: Each of them heard it from the same source, who was wrong. Man: With that much smoke, there must be a fire. Dilbert: Yes, but it's coming out of your ears.
Wednesday September 27,
2017
Everyone Says Dilbert Lied
Tags #rumor, #accusation, #conclusions
Transcript
Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.
Thursday March 17,
2011
Tags #air travel, #cash payment, #college freind, #cost & standard of living, #expensive, #friendship, #relationships
Transcript
Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."
Friday September 23,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #conversation, #dating, #micromanaging, #boss, #god work, #just listen, #insulting, #insuate, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: My boss keeps micromanaging me. Dilbert: Have you tried doing good work so she doesn't feel the need? Maybe I should just listen.
Wednesday October 19,
2011
Tags #anger, #food werewolf, #too long, #no food, #werewolf
Transcript
Alice: We'd better wrap up this meeting because Jenny is a food werewolf. Dilbert: What? Alice: When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. It might be too late. Werewolf: YA THINK?
Monday December 26,
2011
Tags #christmas presents, #sweaters, #ugly sweater, #lose a bet, #gift from mom, #hideous sweater
Transcript
Alice: What's up with the ugly sweater? Did you lose a bet? Dilbert: This? Oh, right. It was a gift from my mom. I'm wearing it once in case she asks me later. Alice: Did you know it was hideous before I told you? Dilbert: Maybe.