Shirt Timer Comic Strips
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92 Results for Shirt Timer
View 1 - 10 results for shirt timer comic strips. Discover the best "Shirt Timer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 11,
2002
Tags #need this afternoon, #shirt timer, #sit in this chaor, #move arms, #hesitate to ask, #itch, #awkward place
Transcript
Dilbert says to a coworker, "...And I need it this afternoon." The coworker replies, "Forget it! I'm a short-timer." The coworker continues, "I plan to sit in this chair and not move my arms or legs for a week. After that, I'll never work another day!" The coworker concludes, "I hesitate to ask this, but I have an itch in an awkward place."
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Saturday July 01,
1989
Tags #hair, #invention, #shirt, #pocket
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."
Tuesday April 17,
1990
Tags #shirt, #head, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Family, #portrait, #torso
Transcript
Dilbert, who has no head, walks up to Dogbert and asks, "Dogbert, could you give me a hand?" Dogbert says, "Paw." Dilbert points to his missing head and explains, "I pulled a loose thread on my shirt and my head got sucked into my torso." Dilbert asks, "What should we do?" Dogbert replies, "This might be a good time for a family portrait."
Monday January 28,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #service, #include, #squeege, #glasses, #shirt, #full service
Transcript
Dilbert walks into "Jiffy Med Center" with a sore arm. The nurse says to Dilbert, "Do you want self service or the full service?" Dilbert answers, "Uh . . . full." Dilbert asks a man with a stethoscope, "What does full service include?" The man answers, "We squeegee your glasses and check under your shirt."
Saturday January 09,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #school, #technology, #microwave, #timer, #fool, #beta, #imbeciles
Transcript
Dogbert asks the class, "Can anybody show me what you do with a microwave?" A man opens the microwave and says, "I insert the video tape . . . Then I set the timer for ninety minutes . . ." A cloud of smoke comes from the microwave. Dogbert asks, "Does anybody know why it isn't working?" A man says, "The fool! It's Beta!"
Saturday February 27,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #pose, #calendar, #Men, #engineering, #dispel, #myth, #engineers, #unaware, #pumped, #mouse, #shirt
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a camera and asks, "Would you like to pose for my new calendar, 'The Men of Engineering?'" Dogbert explains, "I hope to dispel the myth that engineers are out of shape and unaware of what others are thinking." Dilbert feels his bicep muscle and says, "I'm still kind of 'pumped' from using the mouse." Dogbert says, "Take off your shirt."
Thursday May 06,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #hourly, #shirt, #business, #despise, #general public, #change
Transcript
Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Can you help me?" The woman replies, "No, I'm afraid I can't." The clerk explains, "You see, I get paid the same low hourly wage whether you buy that shirt or not. And after years in this business I've learned to despise the general public." Dilbert waves some money at the woman and says, "Please . . . I have exact change." The clerk replies, "I have no way of knowing if that's true."
Tuesday August 02,
1994
Tags #ad agency, #dogberts, #new slogan, #essence, #captures, #we abuse employees, #pass savings, #squalid cubicles, #wear that shirt
Transcript
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Ive developed a new slogan that captures the essence of those company. "we abuse our employess and pass the savings to you" We'll film actual employees in their squalid cubicles. The boss: Wear that shirt
Tuesday December 05,
1995
Tags #lousy vendor, #sales rep, #gorgeous, #field engineer, #without shirt, #indian chief, #maintenance package
Transcript
Alice stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I can't believe you're recommending this lousy vendor just because the sales rep is gorgeous." Wally hands Alice a photograph and says, "Here's a picture of Thor, their field engineer." Alice stares at the picture and asks, "Does he really work without a shirt?" Wally answers, "Only if you but the 'Indian Chief' maintenance package."
Tuesday March 11,
1997
Tags #young and inexperinced, #naive question, #doing email, #after tax earnings, #alice, #stuffed body, #shirt sleeve
Transcript
Asok stands behind Alice's desk and says, "I am young and inexperienced, so please excuse this naive question, Alice . . ." Asok continues, "You spend hours every day 'doing e-mail.' How does this contribute to net after-tax earnings?" Asok stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Today I learned that Alice can stuff my entire body into one shirt sleeve."