Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. The newscaster says, "Our top story: a dog with glasses was seen blowing up empty mail trucks with some type of 'Sonic Obliterator.'" The reporter continues, "Much of the city is in ruins, as the dog blasted through building to escape police and National Guard pursuit." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "On the plus side, we have a much better shortcut to the post office."
CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!
Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.
