Show Himself Out Comic Strips
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The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "No. I need continuous supervision to keep me from stealin' and harassin'." The boss: "I think we're done here." Candidate: "Do you mind if I show myself out?"
Boss: I don't need to see your resume. That's the old way of hiring. Now we use data from the Internet to see what you've been up to lately. Ew. Applicant: I'll show myself out. Boss: You'll understand if I don't shake your hand.
The rodeo clown runs after the boss and says, "wah-wah! Woo-Woo!" The rodeo clown sticks his tongue out and waves his hands around. The boss snorts and charges like a bull, his hair like horns. The rodeo clown pulls himself out of the way using a cubicle wall. Wally and Dilbert watch over the walls of thier cubicle. Dilbert says, "Just as I suspected, the new guy is a rodeo clown." Wally says, "he's fast."
Dogbert sits on the couch backrest and Ratbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "When I conquer the world I'll have a secret handshake to identify the people who will be part of my new ruling class." Dogbert says, "Cross your eyes and stick out your tongue. Good, now vigorously slap your face." As Ratbert slaps himself, Dogbert says, "The people who aren't doing that will be identified as my new ruling class."
Alice approaches the Boss at his desk with a paper in her hands. She says, "I've prepared your pointless presentation for the trade show." She continues, "It's got the ususal time-wasting filler: A graphic of Moore's Law, a "Netscape" comparison, and ironically..." "...it ends with an impassioned reminder to think in new ways, " Alice finishes. The Boss comments, "Maybe I should give out some awards, too."
Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at the conference table. The Boss says, "We're having an all-employee talent show for charity. Tickets are three dollars!" Alice rolls her eyes. Alice says, "We'll give you three dollars apiece to forget the whole thing. It works out the same." The Boss says, "Deal." Alice says, "Ironically, math is my only talent."
Alice says to the Boss, "I scheduled a meeting with your boss." The Boss looks startled. Alice continues, "He'll probably ask me to speak frankly about any problems in the department." The Boss thinks to himself, "This couldn't get any worse." Alice says to the Boss, "He's cute. I might ask him out."
Headline: The Angry Dumb Guy. Dilbert is sitting next to a male coworker. The coworker raises his arms and says, "If anyone wants my opinion..." Dilbert turns towards the coworker as he points to himself. The coworker continues, "...I'll beat it out of me!" Dilbert responds, "I want your opinion." The coworker turns to Dilbert, pulls his own tie with one hand and raises his other fist. He exclaims, "Oh yeah? Let's see if I have one!"
A female coworker asks Dilbert, "Would it be okay if I asked your mindless replica for a date?" The coworker continues, "I'm full of uninteresting stories and I need a guy who's a good listener." The coworker and the Visibuddy are at dinner. The coworker says, "Now I'll describe the clothing of each person at the cat show." The Visibuddy hits himself in the head with a fork, "Thunk!"
Carol enters Wally's cubicle and says, "A man from 'Loser Magazine' wants to see you." Carol continues, "He said something about featuring you on the cover." Wally replies, "Send him over." Carol looks out and says, "I tried, but he keeps going into the break room and napping." Wally responds, "I hate show-offs."