Search Results for "shrink wrap license"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 43

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1997's comic on:

Tags #shrink wrap license, #new software, #bill gates, #new mansion, #towel boy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I didn't read all of the shrink-wrap license agreement on my new software until after I opened it." Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he pulls nervously at his tie. Dilbert continues, "Apparently I agreed to spend the rest of my life as a towel boy in Bill Gates' new mansion." Dogbert replies, "Call your lawyer." Dilbert says, "Too late. He opened the software yesterday. Now he's Bill Gates' laundry boy." Dogbert says, "It must be dangerous for lawyers to iron pants. They'd always have one hand in a pocket."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #renew, #dog, #license, #written, #test

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Let's go . . . It's time to renew your dog license." Dilbert and Dogbert enter the Department of Dogs. Dogbert looks at an exam and thinks, "I wonder what happens if I fail the written test?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #portion, #dog, #license, #test, #natural, #enemies

View Transcript

Transcript

A man behind a counter at the Department of Dogs says to Dogbert, "I'm sorry, but it seems you've failed the written portion of the dog license test." Dogbert replies, "Impossible!" The clerk says, "For example, this question on 'natural enemies': the correct answer is 'mailman.' You wrote in 'fax machine.'" Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How'd it go?" Dogbert replies, "The 'Department of Dogs' does not keep up with emerging trends."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #mesozoic era, #giant, #plastic, #bone, #fake, #vomit, #wrap, #toss, #tar, #pit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You know, Bob, I always pictured you dinosaurs as . . . Uh . . . Much bigger." Bob replies, "Ah, well, you see, practical jokes were very popular in the Mesozoic era . . ." A dinosaur says to a clerk in a novelty store, "Ooh-ooh! Give me the giant plastic bone and one fake vomit!" The salesclerk asks, "Shall I wrap them or just toss them in the tar pits?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1992's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #performance, #worthless, #generate, #license

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Tell me what you've accomplished this year so I can write your performance appraisal." Dilbert answers, "The inventions I made last year - that you thought were worthless, will generate twelve million in license fees next year!" The Boss asks, "So, no real accomplishments THIS year?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1994's comic on:

Tags #job pays, #headhunter, #move, #cold place, #drivers license, #look up gender, #phone call, #man, #inquiring about job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the headhunter Dogbert: The job pays a hundred thousand. But you'll have to move to a place thats so cold that mercury freezes. Man: I'll take it. How bad could it be? Dogbert: Keep your drivers license on you is you can look up your gender if you forget

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1995's comic on:

Tags #dysfunctional team, #learned in workshop, #listen, #heart felt, #respect, #ham radio license, #going first

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like each of you to tell the team what you learned in my workshop." Alice says, "I learned to listen with my heart. I gained respect for others. I understand Sanskrit. I got my ham radio license. I can divide by zero . . ." As the Boss looks shocked, Alice thinks to herself, "I love going first."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1990's comic on:

Tags #bob, #bob's classy clothes, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #retail, #salesman, #shrink, #washer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into "Bob's Classy Clothes." Dilbert wears a pair of huge pants. He asks the salesperson, ". . . And you're quite certain these will shrink to fit?" The salesman replies, "You have my word as a retail salesman." Dilbert walks out of the store with a shopping bag. Dilbert shows Dogbert the pants. Dogbert says, "You were taken." Dilbert replies, "No, they shrink in the wash." Dilbert stands in front of the washing machine. Dogbert asks, "Will they fit now?" Dilbert replies, "Like a glove . . ." Dilbert holds the shrunken pants on his hand. He thinks, "Like a glove with two fingers."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1996's comic on:

Tags #software emoire, #net wealth, #twenty billion., #popular opinion, #sunset, #license digital rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are taking a walk outside. Dogbert says, "Thanks to my software empire, my net worth is twenty billion dollars." Dogbert sits on a log and says, "Contrary to popular opinion, it does seem to make me happy." Dilbert responds, "Money can't buy a sunset, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No, but I was able to license the digital rights."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1997's comic on:

Tags #software license, #rumble, #prepare for assimilation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the armrest of the couch. Dogbert says, ". . . So you didn't read the software license and you inadvertently agreed to be Bill Gates' towel boy in his huge new house. When do we move?" They hear a rumbling noise and the house shakes. A machine crashes through the wall and says, "Prepare for assimilation." Dilbert says, "The house has come for me."