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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #frustration, #like an idiot, #simple solution, #stumping dilbert, #gladly explin, #look like an idiot

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Man says, "There is a very simple solution to the problem that is stumping Dilbert." Man says, "I will gladly explain it to him after this meeting." Dilbert says, "You're probably wrong, and yet you still made me look like an idiot." Man says, "I win!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #tech solution, #simple, #cost fortune, #internal approvals, #vast herds, #management dolts

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Dilbert: "The technical solution is simple and inexpensive." "But it would cost a fortune to get internal approvals because vast herds of management dolts would get involved." "So I should just do it, right?" The Boss: "Did you just call me a vast herd?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cars, #car-phonebooth, #natural, #solution, #coins, #inventor

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's NOT a stupid idea." Dilbert explains, "You see, people who don't own cars are missing out on the prestige of using car phones." Dilbert has turned a phone booth on its side and added wheels, a steering wheel and a drivers seat. Dilbert continues, "The car-phonebooth is a natural solution . . . Granted, it uses a lot of coins." Dogbert walks away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #guilt, #copyrighted, #simple, #stupid, #people, #crowd

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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. Dogbert says to the audience, "You can free yourself from guilt with the copyrighted Dogbert method." Dogbert continues, "My method is so simple that even stupid people can do it." Dogbert asks, "Do we have any stupid people here today?" Everyone in the audience raises their hands.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #eliminating, #simple, #caused, #people, #invisible, #juan, #cindy, #kill, #them, #motivational, #speaking

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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He says to the audience, "The Dogbert method of eliminating guilt is quite simple." Dogbert continues, "All of your problems are caused by invisible people named Juan and Cindy." Dogbert continues, "All you have to do is find them and kill them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonians, #simple, #handle, #democracy, #elbonia, #national, #bird, #condor, #frisbee

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Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. Dilbert says, "I know that the Elbonians are simple people, but they CAN handle democracy if you let them." Dogbert asks, "Do you know what the national bird of Elbonia is?" Dilbert guesses, "Condor?" Dogbert replies, "Frisbee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #vice president, #inept, #simple-minded, #comparison, #job

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Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I'm looking for a Vice President for my ticket." Dogbert continues, "I need somebody who is so inept and simple-minded that I always look good in comparison." Ratbert says, "I don't understand." Dogbert says, "Okay, okay, you've got the job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #noriko, #bob, #dinosaur, #the boss, #explaining, #generation, #simple, #Political, #power, #adults, #planet, #lifted, #briefs, #spun, #twirling wedgie

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Noriko: Stop right there, mister adult! You've got some explaining to do to my generation. The Boss: It's quite simple, really children have no political power. So we adults can plunder the planet, run up huge debts, then die and fat and happy! Noriko: I've never seen anybody lifted by his briefs and spun in the air like that. Bob: That's my "twirling wedgie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #more work, #same tiny raises, #clever shift, #management philosophy, #simple application, #annoy, #effect pay

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "I accomplished twice as much as Wally this year, but we got exactly the same tiny raises." Dilbert says, "I'm wondering if this is a clever shift in management philosophy or a simple application of your ignorance?" The boss says, "You're starting to annoy me." Dilbert replies, "And that would affect my pay how?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #pundits, #press, #keyboard with no q, #public relations, #fiasco, #engineering solution, #graphics program, #semi colon

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."