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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #sharing cubicle, #one chair, #sit on lap, #star trek

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I hope you don't mind that I'll be sharing your cubicle. "Umm...I don't mind." "There's only one chair. Do you mind if I sit on your lap?" "Umm...I don't mind. I can't imagine how this could be better." "Which one of the Star Trek series did you like best?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #boss late, #small talk, #meet with marketing, #outfir, #chair is springy

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Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally says, "As usual, the boss is late. What do you want to do?" Dilbert suggests, "Let's practice making small talk. It'll come in handy when we meet with marketing." Wally begins, "So, Alice, haven't we seen that outfit a LOT?" Dilbert leans back in his chair and says, "This chair is springy. Do you think they're all springy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1996's comic on:


Tags #beard, #close my eyes, #crazy beard, #new boss, #pet emplyee, #spin chair

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Ted, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "As your new boss I have yet to select my 'pet' employee. I shall do this by closing my eyes and pointing the beard on my forehead." Ted sits facing away from the table with his eyes closed. He says, "To make it fair, I'll close my eyes while one of you spins my chair!" As Alice pushes Ted's chair into the stairwell Dilbert whispers, "Alice . . . Um . . . Technically this isn't 'spinning.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #secretary, #carol, #order new chair, #new chair smell, #chair desert roll, #not important enough, #smelly chair, #mean nasty, #self centered, #delusional boss

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The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boss on vacation, #no chair sitting, #vacation, #in charge

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The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, it's your turn to be in charge while I'm on vacation." The Boss continues, "But whatever you do, do NOT sit in my chair. It wouldn't be right." Wally shakes his rear end in front of The Boss' chair and says, "Ooh-baby! you want some of this. Yes, you do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #need this afternoon, #shirt timer, #sit in this chaor, #move arms, #hesitate to ask, #itch, #awkward place

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "...And I need it this afternoon." The coworker replies, "Forget it! I'm a short-timer." The coworker continues, "I plan to sit in this chair and not move my arms or legs for a week. After that, I'll never work another day!" The coworker concludes, "I hesitate to ask this, but I have an itch in an awkward place."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #power to become invisible, #sit home, #get paid, #Wally, #boss, #hiding

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Wally and Asok are eating lunch. Wally says, "Long term, I hope to convince our boss that I have the power to become invisible." Wally continues, "Then I can just sit home and get paid. Oh, it will be sweet." The Boss is sitting at his desk, he looks scared. He asks, "Wally? Is that you?" Wally is hiding behind The Boss' chair. Wally replies, "Right in front of you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2006's comic on:


Tags #broken chair, #extra one, #guest chair, #unstable, #broken chairs, #upside down

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"My chair is broken. May I use your extra one?" "I don't have an extra chair." "Sure you do. It's right there." "That's not an extra chair. It's my guest chair." "Okay, whatever. The point is that the base broke off of my chair." "I can't sit on a chair that has no wheel base. It's unstable." "Stop being a baby. Just turn your chair upside-down and it will be totally stable." "When did your chair break?" "Last spring. You get used to it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #take the chair, #don't sell chairs, #sell hope, #hope of chairs, #ship in 2 months, #call and yell, #buy a chair

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SALE "I'll take that chair." "Excellent choice." "Now sit there quietly and try not to ask the one question that will kill this sale." "Is the chair in stock?" "GAAA!!!" "The truth is that we don't sell chairs at all. We sell the hope that a chair will someday be made for you." "How long will that take?" "If I could answer that question, it would be the same as selling you an actual chair." "How about if I tell you it will ship in two months, and you call and yell at me every three months for eternity?" "Did you buy a chair?" "There's no way to know."

Ted Dies From Chair

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Ted Dies From Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #ted, #treadmill, #alice, #exercise ball, #kneeling chair, #ergonomics

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Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.