Search Results for "slap head"
Share February 09, 2001's comic on:
A frazzled-looking Alice says to Dilbert, "My flight didn't get in until three this morning." Alice asks Dilbert, "Would you mind slapping the back of my head until my eyes uncross?" As Dilbert stands behind Alice and raises a notebook to slap her, Alice pushes her coffee cup toward Asok the Intern. Alice says, "Pour all of your coffee in here and no one gets hurt."
Share March 03, 2010's comic on:
Asok says, "Alice, a horrible accident has given me a goat head. I need you to slap me so hard that I change species from the neck up." Alice says, "Hold still, Asok. This might take a few tries." Two Hours Later Alice says, "Dolphin is close! One more should do it."
Share October 09, 2011's comic on:
Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!
Share November 20, 2011's comic on:
Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?
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Share April 19, 2012's comic on:
Tina: I just noticed you head is huge. Alice: I never noticed it before, but now all I see is a parade float made out of pasty skin. Dilbert: Communication is overrated. Dogbert: I'm feeling that right now.
Share April 27, 2012's comic on:
wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,
Share August 24, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "You shouldn't care so much about what other people think of your work." Dogbert continues, "I mean, everybody scoffed at the Wright Brothers. Galileo was jailed. Columbus was ridiculed." Dogbert continues, "'Course, none of those guys had a head shaped like a torpedo."
Share February 07, 1990's comic on:
Bob the Dinosaur, Dawn the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the floor. Bob says, "We'll kick off the dinosaur comeback tour by singing 'My Way.'" Bob continues, "Then we'll break the instruments, wade into the crowd and bite the head off somebody in the front row!" Dogbert replies, "'Ozzy Osbourne' already did that."