Slices Idea Comic Strips
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336 Results for Slices Idea
View 1 - 10 results for slices idea comic strips. Discover the best "Slices Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 14,
2005
Tags #vp of enguneering, #saving money, #databases, #slices idea, #errors, #asok
Transcript
V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."
Wednesday May 23,
2018
Idea Stealing
Friday December 20,
2019
Worst Idea Ever
Tags #idea, #savings, #fake, #psychic, #prediction, #money, #unhappy
Transcript
boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.
Friday June 12,
2020
Great Idea
Tags #boss, #idea, #office workers, #sarcasm, #trick, #truth, #evidence
Transcript
Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.
Saturday February 06,
2021
The Boss Has An Idea
Tags #business, #technology, #managment, #worldwide, #obvious, #implement, #smart, #people, #remote, #work, #idea
Transcript
boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.
Friday February 19,
2021
Wally's Best Idea
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lack, #accomplishments, #best, #idea, #career, #interruption, #finish, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: wally, do you have a minute to talk about your total lack of accomplishments? wally yelling: gaaa!!! i just had the best idea of my career, and your interruption made me forget it! boss: but no accomplishments until now? wally: i'm a strong finisher.
Monday April 11,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #internet & world wide web, #friends with ghoats, #real freinds, #imaginary ones, #idea is ridiculous, #ridiculous idea, #facebook freinds
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?
Thursday April 14,
2011
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management
Transcript
CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.
Wednesday May 11,
2011
Tags #computer software, #internet & world wide web, #coding, #paywall, #website, #wrote script, #new content, #idea to eliminate, #revenue, #lowered costs, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.
Friday January 14,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #critics, #idea tried, #failed misarably, #skilled at implementing, #evaluating, #insulting
Transcript
Coworker says, "Your idea has already been tried by others and it failed miserably." Dilbert says, "Were those other as skilled at implementing ideas as you are at evaluating them?" Coworker says, "Of course they were!" Dilbert says, "Can you tell him to stop insulting himself?"