Slow Internet Comic Strips
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259 Results for Slow Internet
View 1 - 10 results for slow internet comic strips. Discover the best "Slow Internet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 02,
1998
Tags #dogcarts tech support, #abuse, #slow internet, #records, #porn, #caused by porn
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert at computer terminal speaking to employee on the phone. Dogbert says, "How may I abuse you today?" Employee responds, "The Internet is slow. What causes that?" Employee sitting at his terminal speaking to Dogbert on the phone. Dogbert says, "That can only be caused by you looking at porn." Dogbert says, "I'll need your name for our records." Dogbert hears a "Click" on the line.
Thursday February 16,
2012
Tags #dating, #fast date, #technologically, #incompatible, #internet connection, #slow connection, #4g service, #relationships
Transcript
Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.
Wednesday February 18,
2015
Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet
Tags #annoyance, #binary, #code, #coding, #developing countries, #frustration, #internet, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.
Thursday February 19,
2015
Dilbert Snips Elbonian Internet
Tags #communication, #developing countries, #hackers, #hacking, #internet, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My company sent me to crash the Elbonian Internet in retaliation for hacking us. Elbonian 1: Can you hear me now? Elbonian 2: It's better without the string!
Friday July 10,
2015
Ceo Buys People On The Internet
Tags #book, #internet, #friends, #struggle, #buying friends, #fake, #technology
Transcript
CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.
Thursday November 19,
2015
Dick From The Internet
Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #racism, #misconstrue, #social media, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.
Saturday May 28,
2016
Network Is Slow
Tags #bandwidth, #network, #speed, #nsfw, #videos, #internet, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.
Monday March 18,
2019
Boss Does Research On Internet
Tags #internet, #searching, #secret, #unbelievable, #nonsense, #afraid, #truth
Transcript
Boss: I was doing some research on the internet... Dilbert: Uh-oh. Boss: And I learned that there is a secret cia base inside the sun, but no one is talking about it. Dilbert: Maybe you shouldn't do research on the internet. Boss: Why are you afraid of the truth?
Monday February 21,
2011
Tags #engineers, #laziness, #project budget, #new technology, #slow learner, #expensive
Transcript
Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."
Friday June 03,
2011
Tags #anger, #debates, #internet & world wide web, #outsiurcing, #racist, #restrooms, #debate, #internet, #learn debate, #technology
Transcript
Man: How can you compare outsourcing to our restrooms? Are you a racist? Dilbert: Um... I didn't say anything remotely like that. Did you learn to debate on the Internet? Man: How can you tell?