Small Man Comic Strips

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1000 Results for Small Man

View 1 - 10 results for small man comic strips. Discover the best "Small Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small business, need to be paid, small man, truthful, painfully honest

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I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new head regulator, small man, pocket, pet head, breast feed, lactate, kibble, drinks, ceo

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CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finish program, fast, train him, prodcutive, big glowing thing

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Dilbert sits at his desk and turns around as the Boss enters. The Boss says, "We need to finish your program twice as fast, so I'm adding a person to help you." The Boss says as he leaves Dilbert's cubicle, "You might need to train him a little before he's productive." Dilbert waves his arms as he thinks, "Warning! Warning! Dr. Smith." Dilbert sits at his desk with the new co-worker, a small man with big ears and a disheveled shirt collar. Pointing at the monitor, he asks Dilbert, "Tell me again what the big glowing thing is."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, office equipment, questioning, wise garbageman, powerpoint slides, only delicious, small does, analogy, works for flies

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Dilbert: Wise garbage man, tell me why Powerpoint slides are so boring. Garbageman: Powerpoint is a lot like garbage. It's only delicious in small doses. Too much can kill you. Dilbert: That analogy only works for flies. Garbageman: Oooh. Look who thinks she's better than flies.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unvested stock, quit, lose stock, brain irrationality, small loss, huge opportunity, stupid

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Outdoors, Dilbert tells Garbage Man: "If I quit I'll lose some unvested stock. That's why I'm willing to suffer my job." Garbage Man replies: "A normal brain irrationally puts more weight on a small loss than a huge opportunity." Dilbert begins to say: "But now that you explained it..." But Garbage Man interrupts him: "Now you're just stupid."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contracts, lawyers, surgery, software server, too confusing, normal human, comprehension, cost eefective, involve atorneys, deal so small, medical

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Dilbert says, "Your software services contract is too confusing for any normal human to comprehend." Dilbert says, "And it wouldn't be cost- effective to involve our attorneys for a deal so small." Dilbert says, "So I'll just take chance and sign it." Man says, "Doc... scrub in. I got the liver."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags garbage man, Dilbert, garbage, equations, engineer, calculations

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Dilbert opens his door and the garbage man stands on the doorstep. The garbage man holds up a crumpled piece of paper and says, "Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage." The garbage man continues, "I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations." Dilbert asks, "Gosh, why are you a garbage man?" The garbage man replies, "I think the question is 'why are YOU an engineer?'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags garbage man, Dogbert, glamour, jobs, choose, smartest

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Dogbert says to the garbage man, "I understand you're the world's smartest garbage man." Dogbert continues, "I'm Dogbert, the world's smartest dog; according to me, anyway." Dogbert continues, "I just wondered why you choose to be a garbage man." The garbage man says, "I think it was the glamour which first intrigued me."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags garbage man, die, cloning, machine, design, math, errors, Dogbert, Dilbert

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The garbage man asks Dogbert, "Not much garbage . . . Did somebody die?" Dogbert replies, "Dilbert went to the compost pile in the sky." The garbage man reads a piece of paper and says, "Bad timing . . . Judging from last week's garbage, he had almost finished his cloning machine design. I only notice a few linear math errors." The garbage man continues, "This design would just create a hologram and a bad chile con carne recipe." Dogbert says, "Man, you sure know your garbage!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, garbage man, tranzanian, necktie, snake, clever, disguises

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Dogbert asks the garbage man, "Mister Garbage Man, do you know why Dilbert's neckties curl up?" The garbage man answers, "It could be a Tanzanian necktie snake in one of its clever disguises." The garbage man grasps his throat and continues, "They'll stalk you for years, then suddenly - ACK!!" Dogbert looks shocked.