Snork Comic Strips
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8 Results for Snork
View 1 - 8 results for snork comic strips. Discover the best "Snork" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 02,
2010
Tags #rolling forecast, #worthless, #sarcasm, #meeting, #snork, #laugh, #drink coffee, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I've decided to move to a rolling forecast." Dilbert says, "So, the problem is that forecasts are worthless, and your solution is to do more of them?" Dilbert says, "If my sarcasm is a problem, I can solve that by doing more of it." Wally says, "SNORK"
Wednesday November 29,
1995
Tags #network connection, #technology have not, #global economy, #french fry, #electronic mail, #snork
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Alice, did you hear that Dilbert's network connection isn't working?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Wally continues, "He is what we call a technology 'have not.' His competitiveness in the global economy will last as long as this french fry." Alice says, "So sad." As Wally gulps the french fry, Alice says to Dilbert, "After lunch, I'm going to use something called 'electronic mail.' You can watch if you promise not to touch anything." Dilbert looks angry.
Tuesday May 08,
2007
Transcript
"Why don't you answer my e-mails? Do I need to complain to your boss?" "Your messages have too many topics and no paragraph breaks. They are a violation of all that is good and right about e-mail." snork "'Blah, blah, blah, Dilbert is rude...' Geez, I can't even read this mess." click delete
Monday February 19,
2007
Tags #free publicity, #products are deadly, #recalling everything, #told the media, #public relations
Transcript
The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork
Sunday December 09,
2012
Tags #hypocrisy, #golden rule, #test your rule, #hypocrite, #engineer, #hatred, #hypocricy, #manipulate, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.
Saturday September 26,
2009
Tags #manager, #meeting, #laughing, #confused, #angry, #ridicule, #criticism, #embarrassed, #business
Transcript
Man says, "Moving forward, we'll go after the low-hanging fruit at the end of the day." Dilbert says, "Ha ha!" Dilbert says, "I like the way you used humor to mock the vacuous way managers speak." Wally says, "Snork" Man says, "Which part was humor?" Dilbert says, "I'll just be quiet now."
Sunday October 12,
2014
Tags #budgets, #deadlines, #logic, #obliviousness, #projects, #reasoning, #software upgrade, #rolled out, #estimated finish date, #same way, #failure, #on budget
Transcript
Coworker: The software upgrade will be written and rolled out in three months. Dilbert: Has any project of this complexity ever been completed by the estimated finish date? Coworker: Not yet. We're confident we'll be the first. Dilbert: Is that because you're doing things differently from all of those who went before and failed? Coworker: No. We're doing things exactly the same way as the people who failed. Dilbert: Do you see what I'm getting at? Coworker: No, not really. And we expect to be on budget. Wally: Snork!