Search Results for "society for the preservation of evil ideas"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #clubs, #meetings, #society for the preservation of evil ideas, #file patents, #sue for infringement, #embezzle, #Entertainment

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Dogbert: Welcome to the monthly meeting of "The Society for the Preservation of Evil Ideas." Our goal for the coming year is to convince companies to file absurdly broad patents and sue each other for infringing. CIO: How do we make money from that? Dogbert: Beats me. I'm just here to embezzle your dues.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2004's comic on:

Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

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Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1994's comic on:

Tags #large dart, #preservation, #spotted chipmunk, #tranquilize male, #write newsletter, #dead chipmunk, #jokes

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Dilbert: I joined the spotted chipmunk preservation society. We're going to tranquilize the last known male and unite it with a female. Wally: There he is! POW! THUNK! Wally: When you think about it, thats an awfully large dart to use on a chipmunk. woman: Its Dilberts turn to write the newsletter. Dogbert: Trust me, Humor is the way to go, It eases tension. Dilbert: Yeah, but the whole issue of dead chipmunk jokes?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2000's comic on:

Tags #talking to much, #compensate, #society expectation, #think up ideas, #sit quiet, #nothing good

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Catbert, standing on The Boss' desk, says to The Boss, "You can compensate for your lack of knowledge by talking too much." Catbert says to The Boss, "And don't be limited by society's expectation that you be interesting." The Boss says, "Sometimes I like to sit quietly and think up ideas." Catbert says, "Nothing good can come from that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2004's comic on:

Tags #stock investing, #valuable data, #project on schedule, #refines data, #ceo, #accountants, #nanotaechnology, #discount brokerage, #investors, #secret society, #donald trumps

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dogcart explains stock investing Dogbert: pay attention. First, employees provide data. Th boss: is your project on schedule? Wally: I didn't know I had a project. A Manager refines the data. The boss: we're on schedule. The CEO gives visibility to analysts. CEO: no problems whatsoever. Accountants publish bad news in footage notes using a combination of nanotechnology and gibberish. Accountant: still too obvious. -Discount brokerage firms tell you that you're smart- Use you own ideas! Investors do their own research Buy it because I did. Thank you unbiased stranger! A secret society of Donald Trump look alike end up with all your money trumps: you're fired. you are!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2003's comic on:

Tags #evil, #great idea, #ignorant and worthless, #manage budgets, #poorly conceived, #project managers, #pummel with fists

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Asok enters The Boss' office and says, "I thought of a great idea." Asok continues, "You could let the project managers manage their own budgets... What?" Asok starts to look scared. He says, "You're giving me a look. I must try to guess what it means." Asok continues, "We don't do things that way? If it were a good idea you'd already be doing it?" Asok clutches his tie in fear and continues, "My ideas are poorly conceived?! I can't see the big picture?" Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I am ignorant and worthless!!" Asok punches himself in the face and exclaims, "I must pummel myself with my own tiny fists!!" He cries, "Ow! Ow!" Afterwards, The Boss says to Catbert, "They're kinda self-managed now." Catbert responds, "Very evil: I purr in your general direction."

The Evil Robot Business

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The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts

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Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

Brainstorming App Ideas

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Brainstorming App Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2015's comic on:

Tags #ideas, #brainstorm, #idea, #thinking, #criticism, #judge, #judging, #technology, #invention, #judgment, #legal

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Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.

People Keep Stealing His Ideas

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People Keep Stealing His Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2015's comic on:

Tags #criticism, #honesty, #insult, #conversation, #ideas

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Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.

Obvious Ideas

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Obvious Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2018's comic on:

Tags #copyright, #ideas, #thinking, #stealing, #intellectual property, #originality

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Boss: People keep stealing all of my great ideas. Alice: Have you ruled out the possibility that you only think of ideas that are obvious? Boss: Hmm... I hadn't considered that. Alice: And yet it was obvious.