Soft And Warm Comic Strips
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Dilbert is still a sheep. He says to The Boss, "A lab accident turned me into a sheep." Dilbert continues, "It's not all bad. In addition to being soft and warm, I never need to form opinions." Dilbert hands The Boss a wool shearer and continues, "If you want some wool, just grab me and start shaving. I'll barely struggle." The Boss responds, "Cool!"
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Carl: Thought being a service animal would be a noble calling. But I worry that our relationship has drifted into something less dignified. wally: Thats what keeps my coffee warm. CarL: I am so angry right now.
The caption says, "For years Mother Nature had been dropping hints about the ozone problem." The earth and the moon are shown from a distance. Dilbert sprays an aerosol can of air freshener and says, "Aaah . . . Pinecone fresh lemon scent." A flash of lightning enters through the ceiling and shocks Dilbert. The caption says, "The direct approach would work no better." Dilbert's clothes are burned and clouds of smoke rise from his body. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Is it unseasonably warm today?"
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and says into a video camera, "This is Dogbert, Master of Earth, with a message to all creatures . . ." There is a satellite dish on the desk. A man and woman sit on their couch holding Dogbert signs and watching television. Dogbert says on tv, "I realized that you are all unworthy of having me as your king. I am retiring to go sit on a soft pillow." Dogbert lies on his pillow listening to the radio. Dogbert thinks, "No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it."
Dilbert installs a stove while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I'm installing a paper-burning stove to lower our heating bills." Dilbert says, "I'll fuel it with all the useless documents I get at work." At the office, the Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of papers and asks, "I've been noticing how much stuff you take home. You must love your work." Dilbert replies, "It gives me a warm feeling."
Catbert says to Tina, "It has come to my attention that you used company resources to send e-mail to your boyfriend." Catbert continues, "I'm willing to overlook this ugly incident in exchange for five minutes of quality petting on my soft, furry belly." Tina pets Catbert's stomach and says, "This seems so wrong." Catbert says, "Try using both hands."
Alice shivers and wraps her arms around herself. She thinks, "It's freezing in here." Alice thinks, "I'll just give the thermostat a little bump." Wally approaches Alice wearing only a tie and underwear. Wally asks, "Can we at least agree that when my cactus shrieks in agony, it's too warm?" Alice replies, "It wasn't shrieking BEFORE you took your shirt off."
The caption says, "Thermostat wars." Wally stands behind Alice's desk wearing only a tie and his underwear. He says, "Be reasonable, Alice. When it's warm enough for you, it's too hot for normal humans." Wally continues, "Logically, you could wear a sweater. But there's nothing I can do to be less warm. Therefore, you must compromise." Dilbert asks, "Did she buy the argument?" Dilbert is also wearing a tie and boxer shorts. Wally holds a mirror and an electric razor. He replies, "No. But I'm going to shave my back and take another run at it."
Ann sits in a meeting with Dilbert and Wally. Ann says, "I must warn you, I'm one of those women who like to curse at work." Ann turns to Asok and screams several obscenities. Asok's tie and hair fly back in a stiff wind. Ann says, "That was my warm up." Asok says, "My ears fell off!!" Asok looks at the conference table where an ear lays on other side of his paper.