Sold All Stock Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

188 Results for Sold All Stock

View 1 - 10 results for sold all stock comic strips. Discover the best "Sold All Stock" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2002's comic on:

Tags #bankruptcy, #bring executives, #money, #shake at roof, #sold stock, #money falling

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Tina, "This is a list of our executives who sold stock before announcing bankruptcy." Alice continues, "My plan is to bring each executive to the roof, hold him by the ankles, and shake." Tina stands on the sidewalk with an open bag. Money and personals fall from the roof. Tina says, "Ooh! A cat comb!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2002's comic on:

Tags #chapter 11, #profits are fake, #sold all stock, #diversifying investments, #bankruptcy, #files for bankruptcy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Ha ha! We're filing for chapter 11 because all of our so-called profits are fake." The Boss continues, "I'm laughing because I sold all of my stock the same day I heard that our CFO did." Alice shuts her eyes and clenches her teeth in anger. Alice stands up and yells, " You said he was just diversifying his investments!" The Boss responds, " It sounds funny now."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2010's comic on:

Tags #skill assessment, #lazy, #bad worker, #morning person, #sleepy, #afternoon, #sell stock, #stand on chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I get sleepy in the afternoon. And I'm not a morning person." Wally says, "I'm at my best for about an hour in between, which explains why I'm an exceptionally good lunch eater." The Boss says, "How's the workforce skills assessment going?" Catbert says, "I just sold all of my company stock."

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

Thank you for voting.
Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2015's comic on:

Tags #day trader, #greed, #investing, #luck, #money, #stock market, #stocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2011's comic on:

Tags #saving & investment, #stock market, #mba, #losing money, #money in gold, #shiny portfolio, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #saving & investment, #raises, #debt crisis, #economic uncertainty, #board of directors, #stock options, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because the Elbonian debt crisis has created economic uncertainty. Luckily for us, our board of directors granted our CEO more stock options so he won't leave during uncertain times. Dilbert: What happens when the uncertainty ends? Boss: Then he'll exercise stock options.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2012's comic on:

Tags #new product development, #stock buy back, #stock market, #dream, #using capitol, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm canceling all of our new product development and using the capital for a stock buy-back. Dilbert: This is a dream come true because I always wanted to be like you. CEO: In what way are you... Dilbert: Yay! I'm worthless!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2012's comic on:

Tags #stock market, #good investment, #bitter, #last raise, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The stock market is up today. I wonder if this is a good time to get in. Dilbert: If you wait until it goes up even further, then you'll know it's a good investment. Wally: Are you still bitter about your last raise? Dilbert: Not as much as I was a minute ago.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stock, #broker, #investor, #chocolate, #coins, #call, #hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Ahem . . . I think I'll call my stock broker . . . I'm an investor, you know." Dogbert says, "Ooh . . . I'm impressed." Dilbert says into the telephone, "What? No profits yet? I'll call back in an hour." Dilbert says, "I wonder if this is a bad time to be in chocolate coins."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2012's comic on:

Tags #stock market, #pump ad dump, #newsletter, #traded stocks, #disclose holdings, #bad stocks, #honest msitakes, #stock picker, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!