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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bob flabeau, #lifetime gullibility awar, #biograohy, #false memeories, #herbal therapist, #solid gold

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Dogbert is standing on a stool at a podium. He announces: "The Lifetime Gullibility Award goes to Bob Flabeau." He continues: "I would read Bob's biography but it's comprised entirely of false memories planted by his herbal therapist." Dogbert holds out the award as Bob Flabeau walks eagerly up to claim it. Dogbert says to him: "It looks like a stick but it's solid gold." Bob exclaims: "Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #executives, #ceos, #raise, #asking for a raise, #compensation, #money, #wages, #comparison, #wage discrepancy, #mansion

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Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?

Boss Hoards Gold

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Boss Hoards Gold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gold, #hiding, #secrets, #foolish

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Boss: I'm smart because I'm hoarding gold just in case the world economy collapses. Dilbert: How many people have you told? Dilbert: Where is this heading? Dilbert: Do you still keep a spare key under your welcome mat?

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

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Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gold, #apocalypse, #money, #Food, #priorities, #hunger, #fool

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Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #groceries & grocery stores, #natural disasters, #saving & investment, #complete meltdown, #financial system, #six months, #Food, #water, #batteries, #gold coins, #light on defensive weapontry, #protein bars, #money

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Dilbert: I'm preparing for the complete meltdown of our financial system. I've got six months of food and water. I have batteries, flashlights, and gold coins. Alice: I'm prepare too. I have your home address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry. Can you add some protein bars to the shopping list?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #saving & investment, #stock market, #mba, #losing money, #money in gold, #shiny portfolio, #money

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CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #tv news, #financial report, #tv show, #cable news show, #Dogbert, #gold fillings, #remove your own

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News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #world economy, #gold, #rock, #civilization, #money

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a fence outdoors. Dogbert asks, "Isn't it stupid that the world economy is based on gold?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . No matter how advanced civilization gets, we still use rocks for money." Dogbert says, "The dumb part is using a rock that's so hard to find."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #construction, #garage, #paper, #clips, #gold, #watch, #birthdays

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Dilbert sits at a banquet table with three other people. The Boss stands at the podium and says, "Thank you all for coming to Irv Klepfurd's retirement celebration." The Boss continues, "Many of you know that Irv has been pilfering office supplies for his entire career." The Boss continues, "In fact, he's only retiring now because he finished construction on his garage made entirely of paper clips." The Boss continues, "This bill is for $87,000 of personal phone calls made from the office." The Boss continues, "Instead of a gold watch, I'm going to write the current time on this yellow sticky pad and slap it on his forehead." The Boss slaps Irv. The Boss continues, "Now . . . I understand we have some birthdays today . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dangerous looking biker, #heart of gold, #theme, #used to be preppy, #psycho hill billy

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The hillbilly says to Wally, "I used to be preppy. Then I was a dangerous-looking biker with a heart of gold." The hillbilly continues, "I call my current look the 'psycho hillbilly.. What's your theme?" Wally replies, "This isn't a theme." The hillbilly replies, "Oh.. sorry. Man, I had no way of knowing."