Search Results for "spank"
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Character
Monday December 10,
1990
Tags #dawn, #bob, #spank, #behave, #bitter, #resentful, #child, #mother's day, #father's day
Transcript
Dawn: We have to be firm with little Rex. Watch me, Bob. Rex, behave or I'll spank you! Rex: If you spank me. I'll become a bitter and resentful child. And forget you on mother's day. Rex: I think we understand each other now. Bob: Is father's day still a go?
Wednesday March 20,
1996
Tags #ask the intern, #energency, #crawl through wall, #star trek, #spank the intern, #shut furnace
Transcript
Alice peers into Asok's cubicle and says, "Asok, come quickly! It's an emergency!" Alice and Asok stand in front of a heating duct. Alice says, "You must crawl through the Jeffries tube and shut down the furnace before it fries us all!" Asok's legs stick protrude from the heating duct. Alice holds a sign that says, "Spank the intern $0.50." Alice says to Dilbert, "Today young Asok learns that life is NOT like 'Star Trek.'"
Saturday March 10,
2001
Tags #honest vendor, #not nice to meet, #weird, #spank hamster, #business is over reated, #repeat business
Transcript
THE HONEST VENDOR: Dilbert and the vendor reach to shake hands. The vendor says, "It wasn't nice to meet you." Shaking hands with Dilbert, the vendor says, "You didn't buy enough; I'll probably spank my hamster for no reason." The vendor thinks to himself, "Repeat business is over-rated."
Sunday November 21,
2010
Tags #prices, #confusing, #explain, #arms out, #piece of paper, #compete, #angry, #spank, #logical
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Is it my imagination or is your pricing intentionally confusing?" Coworker says, "It's intentionally confusing." Coworker says, "That way you can't compare our prices to our competitors' prices." Coworker says, "Our competitors do the same thing. It's called confusopoly." Coworker says, "We all get our fair share of confused customers and we don't need to lower our prices to compete." Coworker says, "We use the profits from our anti-competitive behavior to fun innovation." Coworker says, "So don't ruin a good system by trying to understand what you're buying." Dilbert says, "That almost sounds reasonable." Coworker says, "Now spank yourself and thank me!"
Wednesday February 25,
1998
Tags #email chain letter, #will die, #curse of dogbert, #certain death, #curse, #turns into dogs
Transcript
Asok is sitting at his computer terminal and thinks, "Oh no! I got an e-mail chain letter. It says I'll die if I don't send it to ten more people." Asok thinks, "But if I forward the message, the Curse of Dogbert will be upon me." Asok looks like Dogbert, as do Alice and Wally (dog ears and dog nose). Asok says, "...So, I figured a curse is better than certain death, right?" Wally says, "Spank you very much." Alice puts her hands on her hips and looks angry.
Saturday October 02,
2004
Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health
Transcript
CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info
Thursday December 25,
2008
Tags #annoyance, #garbage, #gift, #sarcasm, #re gifted, #free
Transcript
Ratbert says, "The best things in life are free, so I got you this." Dilbert says, "This looks like trash from my garbage can." Ratbert says, "You're welcome." Ratbert says, "I only chewed on the delicious parts!" Dilbert says, "Spank you very much."