Speed Of Light Comic Strips
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The caption says, "Physics made easy." Dilbert says, "Today's lesson is 'time.'" Dilbert points at a diagram and says, "Imagine a donut, fired from a cannon at the speed of light while rotating." Dilbert continues, "Time is like that, except without the cannon and the donut."
Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."
Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "According to Einstein, time slows down as you approach the speed of light." Dogbert asks, "Didn't he also prove that time flies when you're having fun?" Dogbert asks, "So, if you walk slower, do you have more fun or just get more light? Were we finished here?" Dilbert is gone.
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert asks, "Has your electronic mail system made you more efficient?" Dilbert replies, "In a way." Dilbert explains, "Now I'm getting ignored at the speed of light." Dogbert says to the reader, "You can send electronic mail to us through the Prodigy system, care of Scott Adams, ID number mwpg@3a." The caption says, "Note: this strip is not affiliated with Prodigy in any way."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, ". . . As you approached the speed of light you would become infinitely dense." Dogbert asks, "Then would you be forced to take a job as a high school gym teacher?" Dilbert replies, "The book changes subjects at this point." Dogbert says, "Sounds like a cover-up."
Tags #groceries & grocery stores, #natural disasters, #saving & investment, #complete meltdown, #financial system, #six months, #Food, #water, #batteries, #gold coins, #light on defensive weapontry, #protein bars, #money
Dilbert: I'm preparing for the complete meltdown of our financial system. I've got six months of food and water. I have batteries, flashlights, and gold coins. Alice: I'm prepare too. I have your home address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry. Can you add some protein bars to the shopping list?
Wally: I discovered a way to bend light around an object to form a cloak of invisibility. We'll make billions selling it to the military. I'll be testing it over the next several months. You'll know it's working if you never see me in the office. During that time, don't sit in any empty-looking chairs unless you first shout my name and clap. WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?! Boss: What? I don't see anything. Wally; How do you like it so far?
Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.
Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Ha! The store under-charged me twelve cents, and I'm not telling them." Phil pokes Dilbert with his spoon and says, "Hey!" Dilbert says, "I know you. You're the Ruler of Heck, the 'Prince of Insufficient Light.'" Phil says, "Just call me Phil, please." Dilbert asks, "What's my penalty? Eternal damnation?" Phil says, "I'm just going to 'darn you' for fifteen minutes."