Spouse Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

13 Results for Spouse

View 1 - 10 results for spouse comic strips. Discover the best "Spouse" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #singing, #square-dancing, #bluff, #slap, #checks, #write, #strangers, #spouse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone and saying, "Swing your partner, dosey-do. Now clap your hands . . ." On the dance floor, people are square dancing. Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know . . . I'll bluff the rest." Dogbert says, "Slap your partner in the face, / Write bad checks all over the place, / Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, / Get a divorce and lose your house . . . Uh . . . dosey-do."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enjoyable job, #complaining spouse, #enjoy being at work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I make my job more enjoyable? Garbageman: Get a spouse who complains a lot and then have a few kids. Dilbert: Thats sound awful. Garbageman: you won't believe how much you enjoy being at work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss' wife, #stake, #died, #dead, #funeral, #casket, #mallet, #surprised, #spouse, #looking at dead body

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Do you think he's really dead?" Alice says, "I brought a wooden stake just in case." Dilbert says, "Me too, just in case the afterlife rejects him." Wally says, "It's legal, right?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Spouse?" Wife says, "Did anyone think to bring a mallet?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch and release, #ceo seminar, #hurt fish, #inform life, #new spouse, #philosophy, #set free, #spin off compnay, #without making decisions, #be decisive

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eupemisims, #excretaed, #jargon, #rebalancing, #streamlining, #excreted

View Transcript

Transcript

Employee: Just give it to me straight. Skip all of your jargon and euphemisms. Don't tell me you're rebalancing or offboarding or streamlining. Just talk to me the way you'd talk to your spouse. Boss: Consider yourself excreted. Employee: Well, now I see why you use euphemisms.

Marriage Is A Financial Contract

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marriage Is A Financial Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract, #contracts, #dating, #marriage, #money, #romance, #serious realtionship, #marraige, #financial contract, #vendor, #spouce, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I want to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert: Marriage is a financial contract. How much money do you have? Woman: All I have is me. Dilbert: So... more vendor than spouse?

Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #wives, #wife, #work spouse, #game, #scam, #ruse, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Alice, I am breaking up with you as my work wife. Tina complains less and she sends me on fewer errands, so I choose her. Alice: What's your game? Tina: I'm running a bait-and-switch on him.

Tina's Criticism

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Criticism - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work spouse, #wife, #wives, #criticism, #nagging, #Women, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: As your work wife, I have some constructive criticism for you. Dilbert: Great. Tina: You'd be more attractive if you were taller, I just realized I don't know the difference between constructive criticism and the regular kind.

Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wife, #spouse, #work, #creep, #relationships, #repulsive

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I decided to call you my work-wife. Alice: Gurk. I"m creeped out! I'm creeped out! I'm creeped out! Boss: Just like at home. Alice: I need a shower.

Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spouse, #wife, #insult, #mean, #game, #obliviousness, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice doesn't want to be my work-wife. How about you? Tina; As your work-wife, would I be able to jokingly insult you in front of the others? Boss: Sure, ha ha! Tina: Okay, I'm in. Now run along, you ignorant sack of wet fertilizer. Boss: This is fun!