Staple Remover Comic Strips
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15 Results for Staple Remover
View 1 - 10 results for staple remover comic strips. Discover the best "Staple Remover" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 28,
2001
Tags #trapped in offcie, #scream, #staple remover, #claw wall, #door is pull not puch
Transcript
The Boss walks up to Carol's desk. He is thoroughly disheveled; his hair is messed up, his shirt is torn and dirty. He exclaims, "I've been trapped in my office for three days! Didn't you hear me scream?" The Boss continues, shaking his hands frantically in front of Carol: "I used my staple remover to claw through the side wall!" Carol responds calmly, "Your door is a pull, not a push." The Boss, looking confused, replies, "Get me a bigger staple remover just to be safe."
Monday March 18,
1996
Tags #intern asok, #sturdier than last, #staple rmover, #pass the intern
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "Hey, everybody. Meet our new intern, Asok." Alice picks up Asok and says, "I hope this one's sturdier than the last one." Wally shouts over the cubicle walls, "My staple remover is broken. Somebody toss that intern to me!"
Wednesday November 01,
1995
Tags #Catbert, #sadistic plot, #different objectives, #staus report, #staple himself
Transcript
Catbert peers over the wall of Wally's cubicle and says, "Guess what, Wally." Wally says, "What sadistic plot has HR come up with now, Catbert?" Catbert shows Wally an org chart and says, "We're giving you a real boss plus a 'dotted line' to another boss who has different objectives." Catbert continues, "The status reports alone will take forty hours a week." Wally opens a stapler and says, "I'm gonna staple myself to death."
Sunday July 13,
1997
Tags #bad advice show, #married, #divorce, #radio show, #Dogbert, #explain, #dead woodchuck, #household tips, #black paint, #stain remover, #all cheese diet
Transcript
Dogbert is hosting a radio talkshow. He sits at the microphone. He says, "You're on the radio with Dogbert's "Bad Advice Show." How may I hurt you?" Women on the phone asks, "My boss asked me for a date. We're both married. What should I do?" Dogbert says, "Divorce your husband. He sounds like a loser to me." Women says, "Yes, yes it all makes sense when you explain it that way." Dogbert says, "Then mail a dead woodchuck to your boss with a note that says...." Dogbert is heard over the phone. Dogbert says, "Unlike this woodchuck my love for you will never die." Women says, "Thanks. I love your show." Dogbert says, "Moving on to household tips, did you know that black paint is an excellent stain remover?" Dilbert walks in with a huge black stain on his shirt. Dilbert says, "Can we talk?" Dogbert says, "And those are just SOME of the benefits of an all-cheese diet."
Wednesday July 03,
2002
Tags #coffee with boss, #one hour, #quality time, #rather staple skunk, #snarky remarks, #cutting insulting
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "I call my idea 'Coffee with the Boss.' Each employee will get one hour of quality time with me." Carol responds, "I'd rather staple a skunk to my forehead and go to a trade show for banjo makers." Carol continues, "And yet, it's still better than working, so count me in." The Boss replies, "That's the spirit!"
Monday August 12,
2002
Tags #study culture, #in company, #detailed recommendations, #docile outcast, #drinks brown water, #staple tracking device
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."
Wednesday October 24,
2012
Tags #death & dying, #death certificate, #staple on head, #no return messages
Transcript
Alice: You haven't returned any of my messages, so I took the liberty of making a death certificate for you. I'll just staple it to the back of your head so everyone can see it. Are we good here?
Tuesday May 13,
2008
Tags #make copies, #mental task, #bloated cadaver, #staple or no, #asks secretary
Transcript
Asok: Our boss asked me to make some copies. But I fear doing such a menial task will brand me as unimportant." Asok: I was hoping you could make the copies for me since your career is already a bloated cadaver If I am reading your body language correctly, you are wondering 'staple or no staple?'"
Wednesday August 11,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #lay off
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "I can't decide which one of you to lay off, so I've decided to have a contest." The Boss says, "The first event is the 'staple chase.'" Dilbert has been stapled to a bulletin board. The Boss says, "Round one: Zimbu." Dilbert says, "I think I winged him."
Monday April 25,
1994
Tags #making copies, #spits out, #commands in, #copier paper, #photocopy, #paper flys, #crinkle
Transcript
Dilbert: Dilbert: Quantity...two sided ...reduced to 98%...collated ...with staple ....portrait ...two colors...darken legal size papaer. Think! crinkle! spit! woman: If you eat a photocopy set "This Crinkle and poet" to no. Dilbert: it makes copies too??