Stare At Me Comic Strips
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39 Results for Stare At Me
View 1 - 10 results for stare at me comic strips. Discover the best "Stare At Me" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 06,
2001
Tags #yoga class, #harmony and blance, #stare at stretchy women
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and says, "I signed up for a yoga class." Wally continues, "They say it will help me achieve harmony and balance." Wally continues, "Failing at that, I plan to stare at stretchy women."
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Thursday March 07,
2002
Tags #hostile body language, #not allowed, #cross arams, #stare, #move eyebrows, #nice day, #female, #controlling, #unconscious emotions
Transcript
Tina approaches Dilbert with her arms and face stiff. She says, "Someone accused me of having hostile body language." Tina continues, "I'm not allowed to cross my arms or stare or move my eyebrows or frown." Tina walks past and says, "Have a nice day." Dilbert responds, "Too late."
Monday December 06,
2004
Tags #problem, #valuable advice, #stare at screen, #death, #gather data, #blinded by obvious, #medical
Transcript
The Boss: Try working around the problem. Dilbert: "Thank you for that valuable advice. I had planned to stare at my screen until I starved to death." The boss: "Gather data before making a decision." Dilbert: "GAAA! I've been blinded by the obvious!"
Monday June 14,
2010
Tags #upgrade, #cellphone, #clerk, #sport chair, #laptop, #stare
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'd like to waste the better part of my afternoon trying to upgrade my phone." Dilbert says, "I'll just set up my sport chair, and use my laptop while you mumble and stare at your monitor for what seems like forever." Dilbert says, "Look at me! I'm beating your system!" Man says, "Quiet! I'm trying to stare."
Wednesday December 30,
2009
Tags #communicating, #vague, #ignoring, #meeting, #stare, #nonsensical, #business
Transcript
Morgan:The man with no communication skills Morgan says, "They decided to do option one." Dilbert says, "Who is "they"? What is option one? And are they testing or implementing?" Morgan says, "You just earned yourself a creepy stare until the topic changes." The Boss says, "Okay, moving on..."
Friday November 16,
2007
Tags #mordac, #reventer, #information services, #complete log in, #stare directly at sun, #computer message
Transcript
Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.
Wednesday January 22,
2014
Tags #answers, #asked, #dumb guy, #formatted data, #obvious in hindsight, #questions, #stare at me, #office seeting, #not enough questions
Transcript
Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?
Saturday June 26,
2021
Too Busy To Train
Tags #business, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #two, #replacement, #quit, #death, #stare, #new, #person, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.
Thursday April 21,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #suspicion, #schedule meetings, #excuse, #do nothing, #disbelief, #scheduling meetings, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?
Tuesday April 26,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #health insurance, #reduce expenses, #radiation dosimeters, #wrongness, #policy
Transcript
Boss: The company is trying to reduce expenses, so you need to pay for your own radiation dosimeters. Dilbert: We'll just stare at you until you understand the wrongness of that policy. Boss: Still nothing. One hour later