Started Comic Strips
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Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I started our own company. We're selling the product that you said nobody wants." Wally adds, "Soon we will be rich." As they dance around the office, Dilbert says, "We do our victory jig in your face." Wally says, "Ba-bum" as the shakes back and forth. Wally and Dilbert are sobbing in the hallway. Alice asks, "When he showed you your employment agreement - where you gave all patent rights to this company - what part of the jig were you doing?" Dilbert replies, "Turbo mooning."
Dilbert walks with the scapegoat whose arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I'm sorry you got shot, scapegoat." The scapegoat says, "I'm used to it." The scapegoat says, "The worst was the day I blundered across the National Rifle Association's chili cook-off" The scapegoat says, "At first, verybody wanted to stand near me. Then the accusations started...."
Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.
Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.
Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.
Asok says, "I thought my Elbonian kidnappers would hold me forever because you refused to pay the ransom." Asok says, "Then the Stockholm effect kicked in. I started identifying with my captors and beating myself." The Boss says, "And they let you go?" Asok says, "Apparently it looked contagious."
Tree: I am the ambassador of trees. You are accused of crimes against wood for your excessive printing and copying. Dilbert: And then he started biting me. Dogbert: His bark is worse.