Starts With L Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Starts With L
View 1 - 10 results for starts with l comic strips. Discover the best "Starts With L" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 01,
2000
Tags #new job, #starts with l, #window shuts, #company, #business
Transcript
Dilbert is staring at his computer screen. Ted has the letter 'O' painted on his chest. Ted says to Dilbert, "I need a new job within the company before the window shuts." Ted says, "Catbert is already up to 'O.' Next week he gets an 'S'." Dilbert asks, "What's he spelling?" Ted says to Dilbert, "He wouldn't say, but it starts with an 'L'."
Saturday October 19,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #five, #letter, #Word, #idiot, #five-letter, #will, #Crossword, #puzzle
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table doing a crossword puzzle. Dilbert says, "What's a five-letter word beginning with 'I' . . ." Dilbert continues, "That means 'an idiot who doesn't know a five-letter word for idiot that starts with "I"?'" Dogbert replies, "Idiot." Dilbert asks, "Will that fit?"
Sunday March 24,
2013
Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #workplace happiness, #direct deposit, #mental distance, #effort, #paycheck, #no clear goal, #doing good work, #job satisafaction, #stress related problems, #highly demotivated, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.
Friday March 01,
2019
Being Like A Man
Tags #advertising, #business, #criticism, #men and women, #relations between the sexes, #sales
Transcript
Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.
Wednesday April 24,
1991
Tags #news, #news reporter, #mysterious, #circles, #aliens, #crop circles, #crushed, #wheat, #starts, #one, #point, #outward, #formed, #around
Transcript
A television reporter holds a microphone and says, "I'm standing at the Wickford wheat fields outside of London, the site of mysterious giant circles, possibly caused by aliens." The reporter asks a man with a backpack, "How do you find these circles of crushed wheat?" The man answers, "My team of experts starts at one point and searches outward until . . ." The man looks behind him where a circle of people tramples the wheat field. He cries, "Good Lord! Another circle has formed around us!!"
Friday January 10,
1997
Tags #pig with wig, #paid for bride, #send back, #mail order bride
Transcript
Wally tells Dilbert, ". . . So my Elbonian mail-order bride turns out to be a pig with a wig." Dilbert says, "What a rip-off." Dilbert says, "You're taking this well. I'd be mad if I paid for a bride and then I had to pay to send her back." They sit down at the table to eat lunch. Dilbert says, "You did send her back . . ." Wally offers Dilbert a sandwich and says, "B.L.T.?"
Wednesday March 29,
2000
Tags #anne l. retentive, #anal retentive, #typo killed, #comma, #coma
Transcript
Dilbert: Anne, I need you to review my first draft. Anne: TYPO! AAAGH! MY WORLD IS FLYING APART!!! Wally: You killed Anne L. retentive with a typo? Dilbert: No, she's in a a comma.
Friday October 12,
2001
Tags #anne l. retentive, #task, #deliverable, #task not verb, #falling apart, #timeline project
Transcript
Headline: Anne L. Retentive. Anne is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and startles her. He says, "Anne, I'm going to task you with a deliverable." Anne exclaims, "Gaaa!! Task is not a verb!! My world is falling apart!" The Boss smirks. As he's walking away, The Boss thinks to himself, "Tomorrow I'll ask her to timeline her project."
Sunday January 12,
2003
Tags #evil, #great idea, #ignorant and worthless, #manage budgets, #poorly conceived, #project managers, #pummel with fists
Transcript
Asok enters The Boss' office and says, "I thought of a great idea." Asok continues, "You could let the project managers manage their own budgets... What?" Asok starts to look scared. He says, "You're giving me a look. I must try to guess what it means." Asok continues, "We don't do things that way? If it were a good idea you'd already be doing it?" Asok clutches his tie in fear and continues, "My ideas are poorly conceived?! I can't see the big picture?" Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I am ignorant and worthless!!" Asok punches himself in the face and exclaims, "I must pummel myself with my own tiny fists!!" He cries, "Ow! Ow!" Afterwards, The Boss says to Catbert, "They're kinda self-managed now." Catbert responds, "Very evil: I purr in your general direction."
Sunday August 04,
2002
Tags #meeting, #start with prayer, #fear no downsizing, #fist of death, #job skills, #investment protfolio, #doing well, #higher return, #escape clowns, #stew in bile, #business
Transcript
Alice addresses a meeting, "If there are no objections, I'd like to start the meeting with a prayer." Asok starts, "I'm a...." Alice prays, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of idiots, I shall fear no downsizing." Asok starts, "But I'm..." Alice continues praying, "For I have a fist of death and highly marketable job skills." Alice continues praying, "But my investment portfolio isn't doing as well as I'd hoped." Alice continues praying, "So, if it's not too much to ask..." Alice continues praying, "I need a higher return so I can escape these clowns." Alice exclaims, "And live in splendor while they stew in their own bile!" After the prayer, The Boss responds, "Maybe we won't do this again." Alice responds, "Whatever you say, heathen."