Stay Seated Comic Strips
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150 Results for Stay Seated
View 1 - 10 results for stay seated comic strips. Discover the best "Stay Seated" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 19,
2003
Tags #competitive strategies seminar, #house keeping, #energency, #stay seated, #no mens room
Transcript
"Welcome to the competitive strategies seminar." "First, some housekeeping. In the event of an emergency, stay seated so I'll have a clear path to the exit." "And... there is no men's room in the building as far as you know."
Thursday September 08,
1994
Tags #telecommute, #high paying, #goals, #measured, #stay home, #mail checks, #direct deposit
Transcript
"I'd like a job where I can telecommute every day." "It should be high-paying yet have goals which can't be measured." "So, you'd stay home and we'd mail you checks?" "I was hoping for direct deposit."
Wednesday January 18,
1995
Tags #stay engineer, #career in mangement, #engineer, #dark side, #found probelm, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, "I can't decide if I should stay with engineering or pursue a career in management." Dilbert continues, "In my heart I'm an engineer but I hear a voice calling me to the dark side." Dogbert looks behind the couch and sees a man dressed as a devil. Dogbert says, "I found your problem." The devil says, "Boy is my face red."
Wednesday June 23,
1999
Tags #quality assurance, #stay alive, #million web stories, #weiner dogs
Transcript
Asok stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "They're transfering me to "Quality Assurance," Wally." As Asok gets dragged away by two people he says, "But I'll be back, no matter how long it takes, or how hard! Just stay alive!!" Wally types at his computer and thinks, "Wow. There must be a million sites about wiener dogs."
Tuesday February 01,
2000
Tags #more money else where, #good coffee, #why stay
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert over a cup of coffee: "I know I could earn more money at another company. So why do I stay?" Dogbert says: "Maybe the coffee is good and you enjoy watching the antics of feeble, unaware loosers." Dilbert begins to say: "No, I don't think that's..." But Dogbert, finishing his cup of coffee, cuts him off with: "This coffee is good."
Wednesday February 02,
2000
Tags #stay at job, #easy commute, #risk everything, #fast paced start up, #yakking, #ipo
Transcript
At home, Dilbert asks Ratbert: "Should I stay at my current job where the commute is easy?" He continues: "Or should I risk everything and join a fast paced start-up company?" Bob the Dinosaur appears and says: "I joined a fast-paced start-up company while you were yakking." Ratbert joins in with: "Mine went IPO."
Saturday February 05,
2000
Tags #limbo, #a division of heck, #career limbo section, #wait to be seated
Transcript
Dilbert is at the threshold of an entrance bearing the sign: "Limbo, a division of Heck." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, tells Dilbert: "Step inside." Inside, standing by a "Please wait to be seated" sign, Phil informs Dilbert: "You'll be sitting in the Career Limbo section. Goodbye." Arms akimbo, Dilbert thinks to himself: "Jeepers! The service here is terrible!"
Friday November 03,
2000
Tags #last day, #farewells, #working, #row, #stay in touch, #stranger
Transcript
Ted, who has the letter 'R' painted on his chest, says to Wally, "Today is my last day. I'm saying my farewells." Wally looks at Ted as Ted says, "We've never talked, but I was working my way down the row and here you are." Ted says, "So... Let's stay in touch." Wally says, "Don't be a stranger."
Thursday January 25,
2001
Tags #discount brokerage, #estate plan, #pass away, #stay dead, #zombie, #bad gifts
Transcript
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A man on a cell phone says, "I need an estate plan for after I pass away." Dogbert, in his office and wearing a headset, says to the man, "Here's a plan: Stay dead. No one likes a zombie." The man on the cell phone asks, "What about gifts?" Dogbert's reply is, "Zombies make bad gifts."
Thursday May 24,
2001
Tags #dating, #unattractive, #ugly, #woman fixes up, #project, #combover, #stay out of wind, #relationships
Transcript
Alice approaches Noriko who is sitting at her desk. Alice asks, "I'm dating an unattractive man. What should I do?" Noriko replies, "Every man is ugly until a woman fixes him up. Think of it as a project." Alice stands with a clipboard in hand as she lists her unattractive man's faults, who sits before her, obviously balding. She says, "Next, lose the combover, or at least stay out of the wind." The man asks, "How did you know about the combover?"