Stealing Free Time Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Stealing Free Time
View 1 - 10 results for stealing free time comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing Free Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 12,
2002
Tags #lunch, #outrage, #stealing free time, #wind beneath my wings, #work during lunch, #working lunch
Transcript
Wally is in his cubicle. Asok approaches and exclaims, "This is an outrage!" Wally asks, "What?" Asok raises his arms and yells, "The so-called 'Working Lunch' tomorrow!" Asok continues, "They're stealing the only free time I have during the day!" Asok continues, "They give us some lousy sandwiches and expect us to work during lunch! Bah!" Asok exclaims, "IS NOTHING SACRED?!!" Asok asks Wally, "Why doesn't this bother you?" Wally responds, "I plan to eat their sandwiches and go to lunch after the meeting." Asok halts and says, "I... I can actually feel the wind beneath my wings!" Wally responds, "Sorry."
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Monday February 15,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #team, #spirit, #free, #time, #job, #motivate, #bogged, #down, #details
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "In order to build team spirit I've decided you should have lunch together once a week." The Boss continues, "I won't be there myself because it would seriously cut into my free time." The Boss continues, "Besides, it's my job to motivate, not get bogged down in the details."
Friday April 25,
1997
Tags #business plan, #disarray, #free time, #deliverables, #joy, #perverse sources, #Alternative
Transcript
Wally tells Dilbert, "Good news! Our business plan is in complete disarray!" Wally shouts, "Free time!! No deliverables!!! And it's not OUR fault!" Dilbert shouts, "Yippee!!" They celebrate. Dilbert asks, "Do you realize that all our joy comes from perverse sources?" Wally replies, "I didn't know there was an alternative."
Tuesday February 08,
2000
Tags #bury, #bury them, #dig, #eight patent ideas, #hiding, #literally, #not growing, #shivel, #intern, #free time, #appearences
Transcript
The Boss tells Asok the Intern while examining some documents: "Wow! You've developed eight patentable ideas, Asok." The Boss continues: "We'll have to bury them or else it will look like we have too much free time." Digging in a field with a shovel, Asok the Intern says: "Then I said, 'Literally?' And then he said..."
Saturday September 22,
2012
Tags #honesty, #joking, #paperback, #spend free time, #fan of clutter
Transcript
Coworker: It was a great book. I'll loan you the paperback. Dilbert: Thanks. I love it when other people decide how I'll spend my free time. Coworker: I can't tell when you're kidding. Dilbert: Paperbacks are awesome. I'm a big fan of clutter.
Sunday January 28,
2018
Tags #assignment, #deadline, #free time, #death march, #payment, #salary, #pay check, #bonus, #non caring, #cold, #heartless monster, #no sense shame, #money
Transcript
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.
Sunday April 24,
2016
Tags #time, #freedom, #free will, #schedule, #work load, #stress, #free time, #breaks, #lunch
Transcript
Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.
Thursday June 19,
2008
Tags #rumor control, #paid per rumor, #terrorit training campo, #exotic dancer, #weekends
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."
Monday July 30,
2018
Grant Application
Tags #job, #job description, #responsibility, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.
Sunday September 16,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #employee, #calendar, #week, #awkward, #problem, #schedule, #relative, #lunch, #sandwich
Transcript
Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.