Still Alive Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

338 Results for Still Alive

View 1 - 10 results for still alive comic strips. Discover the best "Still Alive" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #still alive, #deadly plot, #own fault, #afford enetertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You're still alive?? How can the sbe?? The Boss: What? Carol: Nothing! Never Mind! I don't know anything about a deadly plot! Its his own fault for not paying me enough to afford entertainment. Alice ; good one.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bird, #alive, #car, #resist, #old, #smoe, #blob, #little, #brain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #habitual liar, #skull, #talking skull, #running marathin, #genie in bottle

View Transcript

Transcript

Habitual Liar: Alice: Are you sticking with you story that you're still alive?" Liar: "I feel terrific!" "I'm running a marathon later today." Low Priced Cremations While You Wait "I'm a gennie in a bottle! Make a wish!" Alice: "GAAA!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #benefits of personhood, #chemical nutrients, #death & dying, #inventions, #petri dish, #robot, #scientific equipment, #skin cells, #sneezes, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #alive, #holographic, #message, #Dogbert, #chile, #carne

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert yells, "Yikes! Dilbert's invention is alive!!" A flash of light comes from the device. An image of Dilbert's head appears and says, "I am a holographic recording of the late Dilbert, with a message to Dogbert from beyond the grave." Dogbert takes notes on a pad of paper as Dilbert says, ". . . And my recipe for chile con carne is as follows . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alive, #Dogbert, #servant, #ancient, #Dogs, #banana split

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is naked, picks Dogbert up and says, "I'm alive!! I owe my life to you, Dogbert, for cloning me in the nick of time." Dogbert says, "According to ancient dog tradition, you must be my servant for life." Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a counter in a restaurant. Dogbert says, "Don't tell the ancient dogs I settled for a banana split."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #severance, #package, #krazy, #glued, #farm, #animals, #still, #boss, #deal, #bureaucracy, #fire, #meeting, #run, #long, #animal, #behavior, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #still single, #shower, #recoup money, #wedding gifts, #baby showers, #bitter, #election hut, #registered

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, you're invited to a 'Still Single' shower in my honor." "I'm trying to recoup all the money I've blown on wedding gifts and baby showers." "Someone's feeling a little bitter today." "I have a pattern registered at 'Electron Hut'."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #duck, #sled, #santa, #fell, #dropped, #head, #alive, #jolly, #elf, #holiday, #season, #myself, #gifts, #stole, #buried, #backyard, #wars, #venison, #taste

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "'Twas the night before Christmas . . . " Santa Claus and his reindeer fly over the rooftops. The caption says, "When a duck hit the sled . . ." A duck crashes into Santa. The story continues, "Santa fell out . . ." Santa dives toward the ground. The caption continues, "And dropped on his head . . ." Santa crashes through the roof of a house. The caption continues, "He was barely alive, this jolly old elf . . ." Dogbert stands next to the fireplace. Santa lies on the floor near the Christmas tree. The caption continues, "'Twas the holiday season, so I thought of myself . . ." Dogbert says, "Hey! I don't see any gifts here!" The caption continues, "So I stole his hat and buried him in the back yard. The end." Dogbert walks through the back yard wearing Santa's hat and holding a shovel. Dogbert sits in his chair holding a book. He says, "Um . . . This is interesting, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "The sequel is titled 'Elf Wars: The Taste of Venison.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.