Stole Lap Top Comic Strips
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201 Results for Stole Lap Top
View 1 - 10 results for stole lap top comic strips. Discover the best "Stole Lap Top" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 23,
2008
Tags #elbonian spies, #stole lap top, #confidentail data, #virus, #destroy morale, #hope, #business plan
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"
Wednesday July 12,
1995
Tags #more than me, #like computer, #girl friend, #jealous of computer, #that computer, #ask about lap top
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. Liz says to Dilbert, "I think you like that computer more than you like me." Dilbert responds, "That's not true, Liz. I do NOT like that computer more than I like you." Dilbert thinks to himself, "Please, please don't ask about the laptop." Liz asks, "'That' computer?"
Tuesday December 23,
1997
Tags #illogical scientist, #idea won't work, #religious nuts
Transcript
Alice is sitting at a table with her lap top computer and is writing something. Dan pulls up a chair and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist." Alice covers what she is writing. Dan says, "That idea won't work. I know because I've read many reports about ideas that didn't work." Alice says, "You haven't even looked at my idea." Dan says, "Oh, I get it; you're one of those religious nuts."
Wednesday March 03,
1999
Tags #people fear public speaking, #fear death, #kill a guy, #scheduled to speak, #sleep, #threats, #dogcart threatens dilbert, #hints at death, #health
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."
Friday April 23,
1999
Tags #moral issues, #summarize, #appropriate categoires, #managers incompetent, #arrogant, #micromanaging, #msiogynists, #time of month
Transcript
Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."
Tuesday December 07,
1999
Tags #idiots, #i quit, #higher paying job, #miles away, #adios, #web designer, #hear your idiots, #ethernet
Transcript
Dilbert, the boss and a male employee are sitting at a table. The employee who has a lap-top in front of him says: "You're all idiots. I quit!" The male employee is typing on his lap-top and says: "There ... I found a higher paying job two miles away. Adios, suckers." A female employee standing between Dilbert and the boss says: "I'm the new web designer. I hear you're idiots. Where's the ethernet jack?"
Monday May 26,
2008
Wednesday May 28,
2008
Tags #home lap top, #non standard cell phone, #elastic underpants, #trapped, #snagged, #clothes, #rigged, #office
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."
Sunday April 28,
2002
Tags #meeting with favorites, #management perspective, #top priority, #price, #service, #circles are round, #flew in, #ate up time, #stole a day, #revenge
Transcript
The Boss walks into a meeting and says, "Hey, it's a meeting with our favorite customers!" The Boss continues, "It's lucky I was passing by." The Boss continues, "I don't know what this meeting is about but I'm sure it needs some management perspective." The Boss continues, "Our top priority is quality. Our other top priority is price.. and service.. and ..." Headline: One Hour Later. The Boss concludes, "And that's why circles are round." The customer looks at her watch and says, "We flew here for this meeting and you used up all of our time saying nothing." The customer stands up and exclaims, "You stole a day of my life! I will hunt you to the end of time! Revenge will be mine!" The Boss and Dilbert are alone in the conference room. The Boss says, "Is it just me or is that phrase starting to be overused?"
Saturday September 14,
2013
Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard
Transcript
NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.