Stop Watch Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

611 Results for Stop Watch

View 1 - 10 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stop watch, #testing theory, #people get dumber, #emotional intelligence, #twelve seconds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert looks at a stopwatch and says, "Don't mind the stopwatch. I'm testing the theory that people get dumber every minute." Dilbert says, "It's not so simple, Dogbert. You also have to consider my 'emotional intelligence,' which is defined in a book I haven't read." Dogbert stops the watch and says, "Twelve seconds." Dilbert sits up and says angrily, "Give me that watch, you hog!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cleaned tool shed, #running tally, #time waster, #frozen snake, #shovel, #five years one day

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "This weekend I cleaned out my tool shed." Alice hits a stop watch, "Click." The Boss asks, "What's that for?" Alice responds, "I keep a running tally of how much of my time you waste." The Boss continues, "...And I thought it was a frozen snake but it was actually a shovel!" Alice looks at her clock and mutters, "Five years, one day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gloating, #meetings, #non stop talking, #trophy, #participating, #too much self esteem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're out of time and we accomplished absolutely nothing, thanks to your non-stop talking. Coworker: When do I get my trophy for participating? Dilbert: Someone was raised with too much self-esteem. Coworker: Watch me walk!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body language, #politely tell, #remove watch, #smash watch, #daily planner, #feel good, #act bored, #self heimlich manuever, #kerokian dodge, #instructions

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert's Body Language Update" "Are you hampered by the limits of conventional body language?" "I can help." - How can you politely tell somebody he's babbling? "Babble, Babble." - Remove the offender's watch while he babbles.- "Babble." - Smash the watch with your daily planner. - "Babble." "Whack!" - This won't stop the babble, but it will feel real good for a minute.- "Babble." "Mmm." - Use this position to signal your surrender to the babble.- "Babble." -Next week - the self-Heimlich manuever and the Kervorkian dodge.- "Babble."

Doomed Smartwatch Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogy, #obliviousness, #assignment, #technology, #invention, #watch, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Health Sensor Predictes Death

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #secondhand sales, #tablet computer, #business, #design logo, #pay another company, #other companies, #watch, #engineers, #degrade, #low morale

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #watch, #neighborhood, #leader

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert stand in the yard. Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, asks, "Are you sure you don't want to join the neighborhood watch group?" Dogbert says, "This is ridiculous. You all know that every single crime in this neighborhood was committed by one guy: Bad Ed." Dilbert says, "We can't actually prove that." Dogbert says, "I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't have elected him group leader."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #incapable lying, #lies, #survival, #national enquirer, #watch, #educational, #programs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Bob the Dinosaur, "Are you saying dinosaurs are incapable of lying?" Bob replies, "Almost." Bob looks at Dawn the Dinosaur and continues, "Dawn and I taught ourselves some simple lies for survival . . . We'll show you . . ." Bob says, "I've never been tempted to read the 'National Enquirer.'" Dawn says, "I only watch the news and some educational programs."