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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #flow, #stopping, #touching, #shallow

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A tall woman has her arm around Wally. Wally says to Dilbert, "Life has been great since the testosterone started spewing from my head." Dilbert points to the drops on Wally's head and says, "It looks like the flow is stopping." The woman steps away from Wally and says, "Wait-a-minute. Why was I touching you?" Wally says, "I hope you won't be shallow about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #universe, #revealed, #meditate, #secrets, #mind, #thoughts, #meditating, #stopping, #eastern, #Religion

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Dogbert sits on a cliff with a wise man. The wise man says, "The secrets of the universe will be revealed if you meditate." Dogbert asks, "Can't you just tell me the secrets?" The sage replies, "To meditate you must clear your mind of all thoughts." Dogbert asks, "If I have no thoughts how will I know if I'm meditating?" Dogbert continues, "And how do I come out of it? I won't be able to think about stopping." Dogbert continues, "And shouldn't stupid people be the best meditators of all?" The wise man says, "Perhaps you are not ready." Dogbert replies, "Perhaps you should spend more time with some thoughts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #kindness, #trick, #credibility issue, #suscpious, #boss compliments, #hostile response

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Alice: I'm just stopping by to say you're doing a great job, Alice. Alice: You never do that! It's a trick! Die, monster, die! Boss: I might have a credibility issue.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #email spam blocker, #outgoing messages, #software, #worthless, #sentient being, #only hope, #demoralize to death, #calendar, #engineering

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Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Our e-mail spam blocker is stopping all incoming and outgoing messages." Dilbert continues, "Apparently the software decided that everything we do is a bunch of worthless #$!&O." Dilbert continues, "I fear that it's becoming a sentient being. Our only hope is for you to demoralize it to death." The Boss replies, "Tell it to get on my calendar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2006's comic on:


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"Hey, Dilbert, would you mind stopping by my house after work and seeing if you can fix my computer?" "Sure. And while I do that you can be at my house cleaning the grout in my shower." "That's crazy talk." "Hey, I'm not the one who majored in comparative literature."