Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to enter the stand-up comedy competition next week." Dilbert reads a document and continues, "The rules seem pretty straightforward . . . Five minutes per person . . . The first minute is freestyle comedy." Dilbert continues, "The remaining time is for the mandatory categories: Dan Quayle, flatulence, and the warning labels on mattresses."
Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims.
Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever.
Boss: But you won't try to con us, right?
Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.