Strangers Comic Strips
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20 Results for Strangers
View 1 - 10 results for strangers comic strips. Discover the best "Strangers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 12,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #lying, #strangers, #car, #salesman, #carlos, #smuggler, #corners, #weights, #hidden, #door, #panels
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I got a job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Does it pay well?" Dogbert replies, "I'm not in it for the money. I just enjoy lying to strangers." Dogbert shows a car to a customer and says, "This one was owned by Carlos the Diamond Smuggler. It corners well, but the gas mileage is bad -- almost as if it has weights hidden in the door panels."
Saturday February 01,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #singing, #square-dancing, #bluff, #slap, #checks, #write, #strangers, #spouse
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone and saying, "Swing your partner, dosey-do. Now clap your hands . . ." On the dance floor, people are square dancing. Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know . . . I'll bluff the rest." Dogbert says, "Slap your partner in the face, / Write bad checks all over the place, / Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, / Get a divorce and lose your house . . . Uh . . . dosey-do."
Wednesday December 28,
1994
Tags #bring strangers in, #test product, #strangers are stupid, #good candy
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and a man with an eye patch sit at a conference table. The man says, "Sure, we could bring some strangers in to test out product for ease of use . . ." The man continues, "But that could take all afternoon and cost at least a hundred dollars." The man continues, "And all it proves is strangers are stupid." The Boss says, "Sometimes they have good candy."
Sunday August 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #mystery, #movie, #surprised, #ending, #life, #tootsie, #hundred, #times, #strangers, #clearly
Transcript
Dilbert stands in line at a video store. The man in front of him hands a video tape to the sales clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk asks, "Why would anybody BUY a mystery movie?!" The clerk asks, "What do you do, watch it a hundred times and act surprised at the ending?" She hands the video back to the customer and says, "Get a life." Dilbert hands his selection to the clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk says, "Tootsie?! You want to OWN a movie about a man who wears dresses?!" Dilbert says, "What?! I thought it was a documentary about Tootsie Rolls. You should label those things more clearly!" Dilbert sits in his chair holding a copy of Rambo. He asks Dogbert, "Is it a sin to lie to strangers?" Dogbert replies, "The way you do it, yes."
Friday March 07,
1997
Tags #boss, #coincidence, #fallen under spell, #morons, #must, #pay inexperienced strangers
Transcript
Wally tells Dilbert, "Our boss has fallen under the spell of a consultant." The Boss walks by with his arms outstretched and a zombie-like look on his face. He says, "Must . . . Make assumptions." The Boss continues, "Must . . . write . . large checks to consultant . . . because . . . employees . . . are . . . morons." Wally says, "Just because we pay inexperienced strangers to tell us how to do our jobs, that doesn't mean we're morons!" Dilbert says, "Yeah! It's a coincidence."
Sunday August 02,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #walk, #nature, #wonderful, #planet, #children, #strangers, #borrow, #collateral, #smoking, #shell, #overlooked, #Environment, #situation, #want, #selfish
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Nature is so wonderful . . ." Dilbert continues, "They say we don't leave the planet to future generations, we borrow it from our children." Dogbert says, "It's even better than that." Dogbert continues, "WE don't have children, so we're borrowing the planet from complete strangers!" Dogbert continues, "And there's no collateral. We can use up the planet, have great lives and leave an empty smoking shell to the strangers!" Dogbert continues, "I tell you, people have completely overlooked the positive side of this environment situation." Dilbert says, "But someday I WANT to have children." Dogbert replies, "Let's hope they're not as selfish as you."
Saturday September 06,
1997
Tags #earnings, #handle investments, #maxed out, #money, #relax, #retire, #risk, #strangers
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair at a financial planner's office. The planner says, "We can handle your investments so you can retire and live off the earnings." The planners holds a long contract that covers his desk. He says, "Just sign this incomprehensible contract, hand all your money to total strangers and relax!" Dogbert's ears fly up as he looks at the contract. The planners says, "We'll need to know what your tolerance for risk is." Dogbert says, "I think I just maxed out."
Saturday April 16,
2005
Tags #victime, #identity theft, #wander, #strangers underpants
Transcript
The Boss: The police say I'm a victim of identity theft. The Boss: "Now I am doomed to wander the earth without knowing who I am." Dilbert: "That would mean you're wearing a stranger's underpants." The boss: "GAAA!"
Friday June 20,
2014
Tags #gadgets, #beat up, #strangers, #new glasses, #with camera, #less creepy, #defenseless, #user error, #photoshopped, #head on donkey
Transcript
Dilbert: Strangers keep beating me up for wearing our new glasses product with a camera. Boss: Have you tried acting less creepy and defenseless? Dilbert: No. Boss; Sounds like user error. Dilbert: I just Photoshopped your head on a donkey.
Saturday May 13,
1989
Tags #walk, #hallway, #stranger
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "It's so awkward to walk past strangers in hallways; you always gotta avoid eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "I know - I'll wait until we're near and then pick up that little piece of fuzz on the carpet there." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then we both went for the carpet fuzz." Dogbert replies, "Smooth."