Strategy Decisions Comic Strips
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286 Results for Strategy Decisions
View 1 - 10 results for strategy decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Strategy Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 14,
2002
Tags #little people allowed, #strategy decisions, #project opal, #executive intuition, #budget cut, #opal project, #named after daughter, #increase budget, #secret meetings, #decision makers
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "All the important decision-makers in the company in this room." The Boss continues, "No little people are allowed because we'll be making important strategy decisions." The Boss continues, "First, let's make decisions about project Opal." The Boss continues, "Does anyone know what the project is or what we need to decide?" A man raises his hand and says, "My executive intuition tells me we should cut the budget by 10%." Another man turns to him and says, "I think Opal is one of your projects. It's named after your daughter." The first speaker grabs his own head and says, "Wait.. a new intuition is coming in now... it says to increase the budget." Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why are those meetings secret?" The Boss replies, "You don't want to know."
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Tuesday December 30,
2014
Dilbert Reduces Decisions
Tags #attractive, #clothes, #clothing, #dating, #deciding, #decisions, #eliminates decisons, #fine tuning, #system, #tube clothes, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: I only wear tube clothes now because it reduces my number of daily decisions. Tina: You mean decisions such as... where to go on a date? Because I don't see that coming up. Dilbert: I'm still fine-tuning the system.
Wednesday April 29,
2015
Strategy To Get What You Deserve
Tags #Promotion, #recognition, #strategy, #business, #competition
Transcript
Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.
Thursday December 22,
2016
Strategy Document
Tags #strategy, #obliviousness, #insult
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.
Monday July 02,
2018
Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile
Friday October 11,
2019
Lack Of Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing
Transcript
dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?
Saturday January 11,
2020
Old Strategy
Thursday July 30,
2020
We Have No Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #strategy, #meeting, #complain, #cheap, #jealous, #wisdom
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy
Saturday February 26,
2011
Tags #contracts, #relations between the sexes, #Women, #ignorantly signed, #legal strategy, #affadavit, #attractive women, #have cooties
Transcript
Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."
Wednesday March 07,
2012
Tags #conversation, #exit strategy, #serial talker, #infinite unrelated, #engineers
Transcript
Boss: Talk to Allen about this. Dilbert: I'll need an exit strategy. He's a serial talker. I'll be trapped for hours while he strings together infinite, unrelated stories. Boss: Engineers have weird problems. Dilbert: What could I eat that would make me puke in ten minutes?