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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1998's comic on:

Tags #pharmacy, #two cashiers, #stres meds, #two lines, #que up

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Dilbert stands at a pharmacy with two cashiers, each helping a customer. He thinks, "Is this one line, or two?" Dilbert positions himself in the center and thinks, "I'll hedge my bets by standing in the center." A man approaches and Dilbert thinks, "This guy is confused too." The man stands next to Dilbert and Dilbert begins to sweat. He thinks, "Get behind me...get behind me...get behind me...get behind me..." The man smiles and Dilbert thinks "Oh no! He's forming a new line behind the fast cashier! #$@^%#!" The man turns his head and Dilbert jumps in front of him. He thinks, "He's distracted! I take the angle! I win!" The cashier looks at his prescription and says, "Stress medications are the other line."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2012's comic on:

Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #dating site, #social media, #propsects, #addicted, #facebook, #pain meds, #prescription pain meds, #eye contact, #relationships, #technology

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Dilbert: I've got two good prospects on this dating site. One is addicted to Facebook and the other is addicted to prescription pain meds. Dogbert: Sort of a tie. Dilbert: But only one of them is likely to make eye contact.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2005's comic on:

Tags #emotionally unstable coworkers, #prescribe meds, #wrong choice, #defects

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Dogbert: All of your problems are caused by emotionally unstable coworkers. "Try prescribing meds from the internet to fix their defects." Dilbert: Okay. That one was the wrong choice. Let's try something else." The Boss: "GRRRR!"

Robot Dispenses Meds

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Robot Dispenses Meds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2015's comic on:

Tags #technology, #medicine, #pill, #anxiety, #deception, #control, #manipulation

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Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2009's comic on:

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #drugs, #medicing, #explaining, #screaming, #scared, #stupidity, #suggestion, #business

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Man says, "My prescription meds cause drowsiness." Man says, "So I got a second prescription that causes phantom-hand syndrome to slap me at random intervals." Alice says, "Maybe you should use a doctor who has less-effective pharmaceutical reps in his territory." Man says, "Fist!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2009's comic on:

Tags #date, #side effects, #wings, #flying, #struggling, #ridicule, #criticism, #offended

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Dilbert says, "My prescription meds have a side effect that made me grow wings." Dilbert says, "But I can turn it sexy by flying you over the city on this moonlit night." Dilbert says, "Seriously, how many appetizers did you have?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2009's comic on:

Tags #explaining, #human resources, #side effect, #hatred, #threatening, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Dilbert says, "My prescription meds caused me to grow wings." Catbert says, "I have a sudden urge to kill you because you're different." Dilbert says, "But that would be wrong." Catbert says, "'Wrong' is one of those concepts that depends on witnesses."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2009's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #wings, #halo, #lying, #disappearing, #work, #side effects, #medication, #business

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Dilbert says, "Please ignore my wings and halo. They are side effects from my prescription meds." Dilbert says, "Anyway, my pointy-haired boss asked me to tell you that we will finish the prototype on time and on budget." Woman says, "That is one bad tell you got there." Poof! Poof!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2000's comic on:

Tags #business book, #change happens, #forward, #meds filler, #parable, #picnic, #served as hamburgers, #two bulls

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Dogbert, busily typing, says to Dilbert, "I'm writing a business book called 'Change Happens. Get Over It'." Dilbert says, "The title says it all." Dogbert says, "Yeah. It needs filler." Dilbert says, "How about a parable?" Dogbert says, "Good idea." Dogbert types, "Two bulls were talking." Dogbert continues typing, "One bull says, 'I'm afraid of change'." Dogbert continues typing, "The other bull says, 'Get over it'." Dogbert continues typing, "Later that day they were both ground into hamburgers and served at a picnic." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The hard part will be finding someone to write the foreword."

Computers Program Humans

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Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2015's comic on:

Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power

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Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.