Strike Comic Strips
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13 Results for Strike
View 1 - 10 results for strike comic strips. Discover the best "Strike" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 30,
2011
Tags #quarreling, #suspicion, #work ethic, #work independantly, #boss, #preemptive strike, #project update
Transcript
Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?
Tuesday August 22,
1989
Tags #helen, #asking, #date, #Women, #first-strike, #capability
Transcript
Dilbert picks up a ringing phone. Dilbert says, "Hello." The voice on the phone says, "This is Helen. We've never met but don't even THINK of asking me for a date . . . ever." Helen hangs up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Women got first-strike capability." Dogbert says, "Surrender."
Saturday June 02,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #vital, #performance, #stupider, #project, #high visibility, #country, #salute, #janitors' strike
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your new project will be VITAL to the performance of this company!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "The more he talks it up the stupider the project must be." The Boss says, ". . . High visibility, a chance to excel and be noticed!" The Boss continues, "In fact, I stand to salute you for the job you will be doing! You're what makes this country great!!" Dilbert asks, "Does this have anything to do with the janitors' strike?"
Thursday June 16,
1994
Tags #bank off head, #coach, #field, #game, #glasses, #goal, #soccer, #strike, #team players, #Sports
Transcript
Player man: dilbert, you'll be playing the left striker position. Player man: one of our good players will try to strike tony in th head with the ball and bank it in the goal, LIZ: "It" being the ball not your head. Dilbert: Id better take off y glasses. LIZ: No, don't, I included their dampening effect in my calculations.
Wednesday October 08,
2003
Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."
Monday June 25,
2007
Tags #hired nancy, #lightening, #can't strike, #lighting strike, #invites problems, #medical school, #cadaver
Transcript
I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"
Sunday December 18,
2005
Tags #buy insurance, #whole life umbrella rider, #read list, #acts of god, #wrong god, #lighting strike
Transcript
"I'd like to buy some insurance, but I don't know much about it." "You need my special indemnity casualty whole life umbrella rider binder." "What does it cover?" "I can't answer that directly?" "Just read that list of exclusions. Anything not in there is covered." "Does it cover acts of God?" "Yes, unless you pray to the wrong one." "How do I know if it's the wrong god?" "If you buy this insurance, and lightning doesn't strike me, try another god."
Thursday November 04,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #rat, #punishment, #exercise
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a magazine. Ratbert stands on the hassock with a leash around his neck and says, "It's time to walk the rat!" Dilbert rolls up the magazine and says, "You're confusing yourself with a dog. The proper way to exercise a rat is to strike it repeatedly with a rolled-up magazine." The caption says, "Should Ratbert be spared? Send your vote by e-mail to: scottadams@aol.com." Dilbert holds the rolled-up magazine over Ratbert's head.
Friday June 17,
1994
Tags #ball, #bonk, #Dilbert, #head bounce, #make goal, #soccer game, #strike, #uses head bonk
Transcript
BONK Dilbert: Gee, Ive scored five goals that way. Liz: you've got a good head for this game.
Wednesday September 20,
1995
Tags #technical support, #gullible, #optimistic, #buy something, #human being
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk with a telephone in his hand. A voice on the phone says, "Press 'One' for sales. Press 'Two' in a hopeless effort to get technical support." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone continues, "Press 'One' for answers to questions you don't have. Press 'Two' if you're gullible and optimistic." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone says, "Press 'Two' if you're willing to buy something just so you can talk to a human being . . ." Dilbert puts the phone on the desk and raises a mallet to strike it.