Strong Job Market Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Strong Job Market

View 1 - 10 results for strong job market comic strips. Discover the best "Strong Job Market" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1998's comic on:

Tags #pressure makes diamonds, #garbage more compact, #slogans, #meeting, #strong job market, #engineers, #irritation makes perals, #pressure makes whine, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Our new slogan is Pressure Makes Diamonds." Wally sits to one side. Wally says,"How about Pressure Makes Garbage More Compact? I wonder if that one is taken." Dilbert looks on as The Boss frowns. The Boss walks out followed by Wally, who says, "Irritation Makes Pearls. Or maybe Pressure Makes Whine." The Boss thinks, "I hate this strong job market for engineers."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2001's comic on:

Tags #job market, #getting worse, #employees afraid, #power to abuse, #grows stronger, #evil dance, #killing me

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is reading a newspaper. Catbert is standing on his desk. The Boss says, "The job market is getting worse every day!" Catbert replies, "Excellent!" The Boss chuckles and says, "Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute!" Catbert grins widely. Catbert grins and dances. The Boss laughs and exclaims, "Ha ha! Stop doing the 'Evil Dance!' You're killing me!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2001's comic on:

Tags #job market, #bad job market, #how hard, #unemployed, #leader

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and asks, "How's the ol' job market lately? It's pretty bad, isn't it?" The Boss continues, "So no matter how hard I make you work it's still better than being unemployed." Dilbert turns in surprise. The Boss says, "Who's your leader? Go on, say it." Dilbert puts his head in his hands and replies quietly, "You are."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2010's comic on:

Tags #frankenstein, #human resources, #focus group, #scared, #angry, #fire marshal, #economy, #job market, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We need someone to run focus groups about our existing products." Frankenstein says, "What is a focus group?" Catbert says, "In our case, it's like mob of angry villagers armed with sharp pens." Catbert says, "And you'd also be the fire marshal for the floor. Are you in?" Catbert says, "Yeah. It's a tough job market."

Hiring Paul The Criminal

Thank you for voting.
Hiring Paul The Criminal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #job, #market, #competitive, #ex-cons, #work, #criminals, #caught, #paul, #data center, #copper, #wire

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.

Dilbert Characters

Finding Qualified Engineers

Thank you for voting.
Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2020's comic on:

Tags #business, #interview, #questions, #job market, #engineers, #baker, #mortuary, #assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Hiring Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hiring Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2020's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.

Criminal Does Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2018's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1998's comic on:

Tags #rat, #answers phone, #consulting compnay, #good pay, #investment banking, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert walks by the phone as it rings. Ratbert answers the phone. Ratbert says, "Hello, I'm a rat." The voice on the other end of the phone says, "This is a consulting company. We'll pay you $200,000 per year to work for us." Ratbert says, "I'm more interested in investment banking." The voice says, "#*@ Job market."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2009's comic on:

Tags #project manager, #gene pool, #kitchen, #losing, #foreboding, #anguish, #monitoring

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Ellen, your new project manager." The Boss says, "If you do a bad job, Ellen will be on you like a ton of bricks." Boss says, "And if you do a good job, she will be threatened by your success and make it her mission to destroy you." Dilbert says, "Wait...what?" Dilbert says, "Did you just tell me I'm going to lose no matter what I do?" Ellen says, "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen." Ellen says, "And by kitchen I mean the entire job market And the gene pool." "Dilbert says, "I have a bad feeling about this." Ellen says, "Your anguish nourishes me!"