Strongest Force Comic Strips
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52 Results for Strongest Force
View 1 - 10 results for strongest force comic strips. Discover the best "Strongest Force" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 21,
1996
Tags #love, #strongest force, #stupidity, #cousin ignorance, #morning breath, #selfhiness, #lust, #fear, #money, #luck, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert stands by the door putting his coat on. He asks, "Dogbert, do you think love is the strongest force in the universe?" Dogbert replies as they walk down the front steps, "No, I'd have to go with stupidity." They walk outdoors. Dogbert continues, "Followed closely by it's cousin ignorance." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a fence. Dogbert continues, "Morning breath is number three. Thanks for reminding me." Dogbert continues, "Then you've got selfishness, lust, fear, money and luck." Dilbert asks, "But love is in the top ten, right?" Dogbert replies, "It's fourteenth, right after foolish optimism." Dilbert says, "Someone needs his little round back scratched." Dogbert says, "Do not." Dilbert scratches Dogbert's back and asks, "Where's love now?" Dogbert says, "It'd down and to the left . . . LEFT!! LEFT!! LEFT!! Oowahh . . ."
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Wednesday April 27,
2011
Tags #eliminate redundencies, #internal process, #irony, #task force
Transcript
Dilbert: I started a task force to eliminate redundancies in our internal processes. Man: Really? I'm doing the same thing.
Thursday August 30,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #hardware, #store, #invisible force, #therapy, #psychiatrist, #selfish, #feelings, #talking
Transcript
Dilbert lies on a couch and explains to a therapist, ". . . Whenever I'm near a hardware store I feel an invisible force drawing me inside . . ." The psychologist says, "You've been talking about yourself since you got here. We never talk about ME and MY feelings. I hurt too, you know." Dilbert says, "I'm paying $75 an hour . . ." The psychiatrist says, "Good Lord, and you think that makes it okay to be selfish??"
Monday November 19,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #force, #ego, #insecurities
Transcript
Dilbert confronts his own ego. Dilbert: You can't leave me now... Dilbert's ego: Nobody tells me what to do! I am pure ego force! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Dilbert: Maybe you'd like to discuss that with my insecurities.
Thursday December 10,
1992
Tags #violence, #Dilbert, #Wally, #jester, #costume, #the boss, #task force, #humor, #creativity
Transcript
Wally enters wearing a court jester costume. Dilbert asks, "What's the story with the costume, Wally?" Wally replies, "The Boss put me on a special task force to see if humor increases creativity. I have to dress like this for a month." Dilbert asks, "Are you feeling more creative?" Wally replies, "Yeah. I've already thought of six hundred ways to kill him,"
Tuesday October 18,
1994
Tags #board room, #fire employees, #no employees, #task force, #competitors, #white rumps
Transcript
EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM TED: our competitors are kicking our pasty white rumps. Ted: Im bringing in dogcart to fire employees until we're stronger than the competition. Man: How will the work get done with no employees? Ted: Id better form a test force to study that.
Thursday November 03,
1994
Tags #interdisciplinary task force, #source of problem, #xray skull, #decision making process
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm starting an interdisciplinary task force to study our decision-making process." Dilbert responds, "So, you're using a bad decision-making process to decide how to fix our bad decision-making process?" The Boss says, "I don't know how else we could find the source of our problem." Dilbert says, "X-ray your skull?"
Sunday July 23,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #bird, #Dilbert, #window, #force field
Transcript
Dogbert stands inside the house looking out the window. A bird flies into the window and bounces off. The bird knocks on the door. Dogbert answers the door and the bird says, "Excuse me, mammal. Would you please lower your invisible force field so I can fly through?" Dogbert replies, "That's no force field; that's a window." The bird enters the house and says, "Oh, worms! I'm always making that mistake. We birds can be pretty stupid sometimes." Dilbert says, "Hi, little bird. You look thirsty. Would you like some water?" The bird replies, "Sure." Dogbert says, "Don't put it in a glass; he might beat his brains out with it."
Sunday January 27,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #rex, #good, #bad, #evil, #force, #dinosaurs, #animal behavior
Transcript
Rex: Dogbert, can I ask you a question? Dogbert: Sure, little Rex. Rex: What's the difference between good and evil? Dogbert: Well, evil is all the stuff you want to do... And good is the stuff that others force you to do. Rex: My dad says that good is what you know in your heart. He says evil is a bad gut feeling. Dogbert: Well, of course, your dad's brain is so tiny that his other organs have to pitch in like that. Rex: Maybe I shouldn't learn about life from a guy who counts with his toes. Dogbert: And thinks with his guts.
Tuesday January 09,
1996
Tags #new boss is posessed, #evil force, #one solution, #drive stake, #heart, #be cruel, #borrow pen, #wimpy retractable
Transcript
Dilbert and Alice approach Dogbert who is sitting on a desk. Dilbert says, "My new boss is possessed by an evil force. We need your advice, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "There is only one solution. You must drive a stake through his heart." Dilbert says, "There's no way we could be so cruel!!" Alice holds up a pen and says, "Can I borrow your pen? All I have is this wimpy retractable."