Stuck In Traffic Comic Strips
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The Boss approaches Carol and asks, "Carol, where's my ten o'clock?" Carol responds, "He said he'd be late because you're a moron and he doesn't respect you." The Boss' appointment comes in and asks Carol, "Did you tell him I was stuck in traffic?" Carol responds, "It's not always about you."
Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.
Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.
Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!
Dilbert says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" A voice answers, "Yes." Dilbert asks, "What's the average running speed of the Tazmanian Boola-Boola dog?" The librarian replies, "8.3 miles per hour." Dilbert looks at the phone and says, "I can't believe she knew that." The librarian says, "And you have something stuck in your teeth."
Dilbert reads a travel magazine and says to Dogbert, "This year we should vacation where the leaves turn orange and fall off." Dogbert asks, "Los Angeles in the summer?" Dilbert replies, "No . . . Someplace where they don't scream before they die." Dogbert says, "You can't hear them over the traffic."
Dogbert stands on the edge of a cliff and yells, "I am Dogbert, the supreme ruler of earth!!" Dogbert yells, "Worship me, you ignorant masses!!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "That was practice." Ratbert replies, "Darn, now my eyes are stuck in zombie mode . . ."
Dilbert sits at a table with a bearded man. The man says, "Let me show you where the information is in your binder." The man licks his fingers and says, "First, I'll need a good load of saliva on my page-turning hand." Dilbert says, "Maybe you can show me in YOUR binder." The man replies, "Can't . . . Somehow my pages got all stuck together."
Dogbert stands at a man's door and says, "I'm looking for the idiot who does the radio traffic reports." The man says, "Speaking of idiots, only an idiot would want to be in this traffic!" Dogbert zaps the man and says, "That's for making me listen to inane segues."
Dilbert sits in his desk chair and says to Ratbert, "Since you won't go away, I'll make you an intern." Ratbert says, "Great! What's an intern?" Dilbert explains, "You'll spend your day in a high-traffic cube trying to look busy. Your main function is to make the rest of us glad we're not you." As he sits in a cubicle moving a mouse Ratbert thinks, "How did people ever look busy before computers?"