Stupid Deciosn Comic Strips
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Share June 04, 1995's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert at a conference table with a vendor. Dilbert looks at a product and says, "Your company makes an attractive little product, Jim." Dilbert hands the unit back to Jim. Dilbert says, "But we've decided to go with a vendor whose product actually works." Jim stands up suddenly, causing Dilbert's tie to fly straight up. Jim screams, "Fools!!! I'll crush you!!!" Jim continues, "I'll tell your boss you made a stupid decision!! Your careers will be ruined and I'll get the contract anyway!!" Wally says, "You can't scare us! Do you think our boss will believe a vendor over his own loyal employees?" Wally and Dilbert cross their arms and think, "Must . . . keep . . . a . . . straight . . . face . . ." Wally, Dilbert and Jim erupt in laughter. Dilbert says, "We'll take a million units." Jim says, "Take two million and I'll see that you get nice raises."
Share December 28, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.
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Share May 24, 2012's comic on:
Loud Howard meets Topper Coworker: I did something stupid today!!! Topper: That's nothing. I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!! Together: I'm a moron!!! Dilbert: I need a new cubicle.
Share July 10, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . And nature has a way of compensating for weakness." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Dilbert explains, "That's why blind people often develop great hearing." Dogbert says, "I guess that also explains why stupid people have big mouths."
Share November 01, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. The voice on the tv says, "Tonight Siskel and Ebert review Dilbert's life." Ebert says, ". . . Boring and stupid . . . Look out, Gene; I'm gonna have to spit to get the taste out of my mouth . . ." Ebert continues, "Oops. Sorry, Gene." Dilbert points the remote control at the tv and changes the channel as he says, "I hate when they do these theme shows."
Share November 29, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I have a stupid question . . ." Dilbert says, "There are no stupid questions." Dogbert says, "That's ridiculous . . . If there are no stupid questions then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Dilbert asks, "Were you going to ask me something?" Dogbert replies, "See . . . Now there's a stupid question."
Share April 23, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert, Dogbert and a man sit on a park bench. The man says, ". . . So then I sez to my boss, 'You can just stuff this stupid project . . .'" The man continues, "Then I sez, 'Let's see YOU do this job.' And I sez, 'I should get a raise.' I gotta go." Dogbert says, "The more they sez 'I sez,' the less likely it is they really said what they sez they said."
Share August 04, 1990's comic on:
Rabert: Goodbye, Dogbert, I must return to the lab with the professor. Dogbert: That's stupid. Rabert: He says he loves me. That must be why he fed me so much. Dogbert: You're getting stupider. Rabert: I have to follow my heart. Dogbert: Mmm... Love causes stupidity in lab rats.
Share August 29, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"