Sugar Doughnut Comic Strips
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17 Results for Sugar Doughnut
View 1 - 10 results for sugar doughnut comic strips. Discover the best "Sugar Doughnut" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 23,
2003
Tags #job applaicants, #new batch, #500 qualified people, #who wants job, #pummel each applicat, #very soft itmes, #harder materials, #sugar doughnut, #their attitudes, #upbeat
Transcript
CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"
Saturday October 14,
2000
Tags #300 times, #coffee, #Funny, #jokes, #not funny, #sugar
Transcript
Wally and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice is putting packets of sugar in her coffee. Wally says, "Why don't you have a little coffee with your sugar, Alice?" Wally continues, "Heh, heh. It's funny because it's ususally the other way around." Wally, alone, thinks, "I don't see how something can be funny 300 times but 301 times."
Thursday August 01,
2002
Tags #stretch goals, #signaling surrender, #no to doughnut
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Starting today, our goals will be replaced by stretch goals." Asok asks, "Stretch goals?" Alice says, "Stretch goals are like stretch pants. It's a way of signaling surrender." Asok puts up both arms in surrender. Alice says, "Speaking of which, I wouldn't say no to a doughnut."
Saturday August 13,
2005
Tags #last doughnut, #last half, #xenos, #switch, #hard liquor
Transcript
Dilbert: No one ever wants to tae more than half or whats left of the last doughnut. Thats why I call it xenon doughnut. HEE HEE! Waitress: I heard some of that, do you want to switch to hard liquor? Woman: Hurry.
Sunday December 22,
2002
Tags #how to be annoying, #nasal sounds, #rainstorm, #sugar donught, #oil on fingers, #leaky coffee mug
Transcript
Headline: The Adventures of Paul Ooshen* (*Say it fast). Paul sits at his computer and looks down at his watch. Paul squirts a perfume bottle towards his face. He thinks, "Aaah... The scent of a hog farm in a rainstorm." Paul rubs in fingers in an oil puddle on his desk and thinks, "Oil for fingers." Paul holds up a sandwich and thinks, "Onion sandwich." Paul snorts his nose and thinks, "Annoying nasal sounds." Paul pours coffee into a mug and thinks, "Leaky coffee mug.. I'm ready for my meeting." Paul enters Alice's cubicle and scratches his nails down her computer screen. Alice screams, "Yes! Yes! I agree to everything! Please leave!" Paul walks away and thinks, "I didn't even need to lean over her keyboard with my sugar donut."
Friday June 18,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #man, #zombies, #coffee, #office
Transcript
Dogbert stands on top of a beverage container and says, "To be a zombie you must drink the zombie elixir." Dogbert continues, "The zombie elixir will remove any distracting thoughts of sleep or family life." A man looks in his mug and says, "It looks like coffee." Dogbert holds a giant spoon of sugar and says, "You have to add one scoop of zombie sugar."
Sunday April 17,
1994
Tags #vision thing, #boss, #visions, #donuts, #coffee, #big house, #servents, #over rated, #gardener, #everyone laid off
Transcript
The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"
Sunday September 28,
1997
Tags #boss zone, #donuts on hair, #executive retreat, #failure, #one month, #project, #six phases, #uncertainty, #approval
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.
Wednesday April 11,
2001
Tags #oil wells, #albanian wild life preserve, #extinction, #seven species, #useless, #species, #eat and grunt
Transcript
The boss is giving a presentation as he points to a slide of a dead animal. The boss says, "Our oil wells in the Elbonian Wildlife Preserve have caused the extinction of seven species." The boss continues, "Luckily, they were useless species who did nothing but eat and grunt." Wally is sitting beside Dilbert, eating a doughnut and grunting, "Mm..mm..mm.."
Monday April 12,
2004
Tags #tainted research, #skinny people, #bright light, #association of donught makers, #wheel chair, #man in bandages
Transcript
"I'm starting a company that specializes in doing tainted research." "The Association of Doughnut Makers asked me to prove that skinny people can't go to heaven." "Did you see a bright light before the doctors revived you?" "No, why?"