Suing Us Comic Strips
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10 Results for Suing Us
View 1 - 10 results for suing us comic strips. Discover the best "Suing Us" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 18,
2011
Tags #copyright & trademark, #inventions, #competitor suing, #albanian court, #design trademark, #block manufacturing, #shaped like rectangle, #design shapes, #irregular mole
Transcript
Man: Our competitor is suing us in an Elbonian court for some sort of design trademark violation. They're trying to block us from manufacturing anything shaped like a rectangle. Boss: What design shapes are available? Man: Only one, assuming "irregular mole" is a shape.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 25,
2002
Tags #assignment, #blah blah, #make holidays tense, #stockholder, #stop merger, #suing us, #dilberts mother
Transcript
Dilbert is at his computer. The Boss approaches, hands Dilbert a photograph, and says, "This stockholder is suing us to stop the merger. Go rough her up." Dilbert looks at the photograph and responds, "This assignment disturbs me on many levels." The Boss says, "Name one." Dilbert looks down at the photograph of his mom and says, "It will make the holidays tense." The Boss replies, "Blah, blah, blah."
Friday May 05,
1989
Tags #invention, #lawyers, #money
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert stand on either side of a device. Dogbert says, "I think you should see a lawyer before unleashing this new invention on mankind." Later, Dilbert sits in an attorney's office. Dilbert says, ". . . I'm afraid my new invention will expose me to lots of lawsuits." Dilbert asks, "Will you advise me?" The lawyer replies, "No. Sounds like I can make more money by suing you."
Tuesday March 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #attorney, #petimony, #allegedly, #pet, #Garfield, #pat
Transcript
Dilbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm an attorney for Mister Dogbert . . ." The lawyer continues, "He's suing you for 'petimony.' You allegedly pet the neighbor's cat . . ." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "See . . It was a pat, not a pet. Like this . . ." Dogbert, who is reading the newspaper, replies, "Oh look, it's 'Garfield,' your favorite . . ."
Wednesday July 21,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #law firm, #accounting
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm from the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert and Dogbert. I'm suing you for draining the life force out of your employees." Dogbert holds a rag and says, "After being drained of life, employees are forced to leave the company. The lucky ones get jobs as rags for a car wash, like Joey Pishkin here." The Boss blows his nose on a rag. Dogbert says to the rag he's holding, "What Joey? That's Marge from accounting???"
Saturday October 26,
2002
Tags #drop lawsuit, #fight dirty, #dispatch goons, #billy blanks on ur butt, #mother, #dilmom, #suing company, #Family
Transcript
Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "Mom, you have to drop your lawsuit against my company. They fight dirty." Dilbert's mom swings around and exclaims, "Bring 'em on! I've been watching my 'Tae Bo' videos! I'll dispatch their goons to hell!" Dilbert says, "They sent me. I'm their goon." Dilbert's mom waves her arms in the air and says, "After dinner, I'm going Billy Bonkers on your butt!"
Monday October 17,
2005
Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain
Transcript
Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."
Tuesday February 26,
2013
Tags #mathematics, #patents, #patent infreingement, #jury duty, #award
Transcript
Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.
Monday June 09,
2008
Tags #meeting with boss, #vendors, #customers, #please kill me
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, you never mentioned any issues this quarter, so I assume you didn't do any work." A man says, "Ooooh, lordy lord! Our vendors are incompetent and our customers are suing us!!!" The Boss says, "Why can't you be more like that guy?" A man says, "Someone please kill me!"
Saturday July 08,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Quits
Tags #virtual reality, #civil rights, #discrimination, #artificial intelligence, #rights
Transcript
Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.