Supply Cabinet Unlocked Comic Strips
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40 Results for Supply Cabinet Unlocked
View 1 - 10 results for supply cabinet unlocked comic strips. Discover the best "Supply Cabinet Unlocked" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 28,
1997
Tags #wally report, #weekly stats upadte, #industry average, #income, #supply cabinet unlocked
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "It's time now for the Wally Report, a weekly status update." Wally continues, "My income is 80 percent of industry average, enthusiasm is at 63 percent of capacity and my ego shield is holding at 15 percent." Dilbert says, "Your enthusiasm is up from last week." Wally says, "Someone left the supply cabinet unlocked!"
Sunday May 12,
1996
Tags #new vp, #cost containment, #first priority, #reduce expenses, #office supplies, #supply cabinet locked, #butter efficient secreatray, #naive question, #dispirited hollow shells, #product shoddy, #get supplies, #like honesty
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Asok, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like you all to meet our new vice president in charge of cost containment." The VP says, "My first priority is to reduce our spiraling expenses for office supplies." The VP continues, "From now on, your supply cabinet will be locked." The VP continues, "The only key will be under the control of your bitter and inefficient secretary. Questions?" Asok raises his hand and says, "I am only an intern so please excuse this naive question . . ." Asok continues, "I've noticed that the employees are all dispirited hollow shells, management is random and our products are shoddy." Asok asks, "How are you going to solve that by making it hard to get supplies?" The VP looks angry. Asok says to Wally, "I thought you said they like honesty." Wally whispers, "Ask how much he's paid. It shows you care."
Wednesday October 02,
1996
Tags #complaining, #document, #office supplies, #out of ink, #person who asked, #requirement, #supply cabinet
Transcript
Dilbert: Carolf, I need yo document your procedure for ordering office supplies. Its and ISO 9000 requirement. Carol: If someone asks for something, I check first the supply cabinet first. Then I say, "Theres one left You can't have it because then we'd be all out" Carol: Then I spend the rest of the day complaining about the person who asked. Dilbert: Uh - Oh....Im out of ink.
Tuesday January 26,
1999
Tags #carol on phone, #yell kids, #key to cabinet, #supply cabinet, #cheetah, #panda, #jungle, #office
Transcript
Dilbert peers over his cubicle wall. Dilbert thinks, "As usual, Carol is on the phone yelling at her kids." Wally also peers over his partition. Dilbert thinks, "I wait, like a cheetah, for a chance to ask her for the key to the supply cabinet." Dilbert says, to Wally, "Are you waiting like a cheetah?" Wally says, "I'm more of a panda."
Sunday October 29,
1995
Tags #dilbert needs staples, #asks secreatry, #need order number, #supply catalog, #wally borrowed, #wally needs help, #alice needs meeting, #new vendor, #almost stapled
Transcript
Dilbert asks a secretary, "Helen, do you have any staples in the supply cabinet?" Helen replies, "No, I only stock the basics: cheap pens with green ink, big jars of glue and ribbons for obsolete printers." Dilbert asks, "Could you order some staples?" Helen says, "You need to give me the order number." Dilbert says, "Okay. Can I see your supply catalog?" Helen replies, "Wally borrowed it." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. The phone rings and Helen says, "I'd better get that; it might be personal." Dilbert stands in the doorway and says, "Wally, do you have the . . ." Wally interrupts, "I need your help with this. Pull up a chair." Alice appears and says, "I need both of you to come talk to a vendor that we'll never use." Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "Thanks to teamwork, I almost stapled something today." Dogbert says, "I'm so proud to know you."
Wednesday July 15,
2015
Advice
Tags #ego, #talking, #conversation, #Advice, #insult, #insulting, #suggestion
Transcript
Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.
Monday March 14,
2011
Tags #apathy, #executives, #work ethic, #enginner, #no budget, #emailed, #ceo, #social network, #global supply chain
Transcript
Dilbert: So... you emailed our CEO and asked for funds to build a social network for our global supply chain. Dilbert: No one wants that, But it sounds good, so he moved all of our project funding to your dumb idea. and...you will produce nothing, Wally: said the engineer with no budget.
Wednesday March 04,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #amazingly, #ignorant, #people, #visit, #economics, #fed, #increased, #money, #supply, #interview, #Politics
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of a television camera holding a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People." Dogbert continues, "Tonight we'll visit people who don't understand economics but talk about it anyway." A man says, "So, I heard the Fed increased the money supply, but I checked my bank balance and it's the SAME as before." Another man says, "That isn't fair."
Wednesday April 01,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #tax, #rebate, #Dogs, #only, #fair, #stimulate, #economy, #keynesian, #free, #market, #boost, #gnp, #supply, #side, #curve, #positive, #vote, #reel
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the President's desk. Dogbert says, "So, Mister President, a tax rebate for dogs is the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dogbert continues, "Because then you get a keynesian free market multiplier effect to boost your GNP up the supply side of the curve." The President asks, "Are you POSITIVE that dogs can vote?" Dogbert thinks, "Now, r-e-e-l him in . . ."
Wednesday February 07,
1996
Tags #biggest offices, #file cabinet, #least need, #living monument, #proprietary documents, #stacks full, #storage psace, #efficiency
Transcript
Alice asks the Boss, "Why is it that the people with the least need for storage space have the biggest offices?" Alice stands in the door to the Boss's office and says, "I know! You're using your office as kind of a living monument to inefficiency!" The Boss asks, "Is this because I wouldn't let you get a file cabinet?" Alice asks, "Where would I put it? My cubicle is full of stacks of proprietary documents."