Survive Economy Comic Strips
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93 Results for Survive Economy
View 1 - 10 results for survive economy comic strips. Discover the best "Survive Economy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 06,
2008
Tags economy, sarcasm, smart, twice as smart, survive economy, spontaneously developing, high iq, pep talk, worked in marketing, see future
Transcript
The boss: We need to be twice as smart to survive this economy. Dilbert: Good plan. I look forward to spontaneously developing an I.Q. of 400. The boss: This pep talk totally worked in marketing. Dilbert: Will I be able to see the future?
Wednesday January 26,
2011
Tags commerce, economic policy, utax incentives, projects, tax savings, executive bonuses, stimulate economy, trickle on your heads, trickle down theory, poker night
Transcript
The Boss says, "We've decided to use the new tax incentives on the projects we were going to do anyway." The Boss says, "The tax savings will go toward executive bonuses, which stimulate the economy via the 'trickle on your heads' theory." Alice says, "It's called the 'trickle down' theory." The Boss says, "Not on poker night."
Sunday November 27,
2011
Tags frustration, gadgets, smartphone interface rage, perfect storm, bad interface design, chubby fingers, poor signal strenth, smashing phone, frustrated, can't survive, lesser of two eveils
Transcript
Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.
Saturday November 04,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, world economy, gold, rock, civilization, money
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a fence outdoors. Dogbert asks, "Isn't it stupid that the world economy is based on gold?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . No matter how advanced civilization gets, we still use rocks for money." Dogbert says, "The dumb part is using a rock that's so hard to find."
Saturday April 07,
1990
Tags Dilbert, economy, mud, planning, pigs, communism, elbonia, Political, capitalism
Transcript
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.
Tuesday March 31,
1992
Tags bob, dinosaur, Dogbert, economic, advisor, president, money, stimulating, economy, fritter, health
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit at the table. Bob asks, "You're going to be an economic advisor to the President? What do you know about economics?" Dogbert replies, "It's simple, Bob." Dogbert explains, "The country needs to give all the money to dogs, thus stimulating the economy." Bob asks, "Why can't we spend the money ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "You'd probably fritter it away on food and health care."
Wednesday April 01,
1992
Tags Dogbert, tax, rebate, Dogs, only, fair, stimulate, economy, keynesian, free, market, boost, gnp, supply, side, curve, positive, vote, reel
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the President's desk. Dogbert says, "So, Mister President, a tax rebate for dogs is the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dogbert continues, "Because then you get a keynesian free market multiplier effect to boost your GNP up the supply side of the curve." The President asks, "Are you POSITIVE that dogs can vote?" Dogbert thinks, "Now, r-e-e-l him in . . ."
Tuesday June 30,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, snow, mountain, jet, captain, bob, fly, luck, survive, eat, cannibal, last
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert and several other passengers stand in waist-deep snow. Dilbert says, "We're alive . . . We must have been thrown clear when the jet hit the mountain." The airplane captain says to Dilbert, "I'm Captain Bob. Sorry about the crash. What are the odds I'd hit this same mountain on every flight?" As Bob walks away Dilbert says, "We're in luck. Captain Bob knows how to survive these situations." Bob thinks, "Nice folks. I'll eat them last."
Wednesday October 21,
1992
Tags Dogbert, mild, flu, normally, survive, brief, developed, empathy, die, afford, ambassador, class, service
Transcript
Dogbert says to a patient on the examining table, "You have a mild flu, and normally you would survive." Dogbert continues, "However, in this brief visit I've developed no real empathy for you, so I've decided to let you die." The man asks, "Is there anything I can do?!" Dogbert replies, "Well . . . Unless you can afford my new 'Ambassador Class' service."
Thursday May 20,
1993
Tags Dilbert, handle, kiss, hand shake, debbie, filibuster, movies, economy
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the door with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "You're wondering how to handle the good night kiss . . ." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Donna says, "By a vote of two to zero we've decided not to kiss you. And Debbie has threatened a filibuster on the handshake issue." Dilbert holds his hand out and thinks, "It's a bluff." Debbie says, "Nice weather today. Have you seen any good movies? How about the economy, huh?"