Survive Economy Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

93 Results for Survive Economy

View 1 - 10 results for survive economy comic strips. Discover the best "Survive Economy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economy, sarcasm, smart, twice as smart, survive economy, spontaneously developing, high iq, pep talk, worked in marketing, see future

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: We need to be twice as smart to survive this economy. Dilbert: Good plan. I look forward to spontaneously developing an I.Q. of 400. The boss: This pep talk totally worked in marketing. Dilbert: Will I be able to see the future?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags commerce, economic policy, utax incentives, projects, tax savings, executive bonuses, stimulate economy, trickle on your heads, trickle down theory, poker night

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We've decided to use the new tax incentives on the projects we were going to do anyway." The Boss says, "The tax savings will go toward executive bonuses, which stimulate the economy via the 'trickle on your heads' theory." Alice says, "It's called the 'trickle down' theory." The Boss says, "Not on poker night."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, gadgets, smartphone interface rage, perfect storm, bad interface design, chubby fingers, poor signal strenth, smashing phone, frustrated, can't survive, lesser of two eveils

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, world economy, gold, rock, civilization, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a fence outdoors. Dogbert asks, "Isn't it stupid that the world economy is based on gold?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . No matter how advanced civilization gets, we still use rocks for money." Dogbert says, "The dumb part is using a rock that's so hard to find."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, economy, mud, planning, pigs, communism, elbonia, Political, capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob, dinosaur, Dogbert, economic, advisor, president, money, stimulating, economy, fritter, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit at the table. Bob asks, "You're going to be an economic advisor to the President? What do you know about economics?" Dogbert replies, "It's simple, Bob." Dogbert explains, "The country needs to give all the money to dogs, thus stimulating the economy." Bob asks, "Why can't we spend the money ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "You'd probably fritter it away on food and health care."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, tax, rebate, Dogs, only, fair, stimulate, economy, keynesian, free, market, boost, gnp, supply, side, curve, positive, vote, reel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the President's desk. Dogbert says, "So, Mister President, a tax rebate for dogs is the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dogbert continues, "Because then you get a keynesian free market multiplier effect to boost your GNP up the supply side of the curve." The President asks, "Are you POSITIVE that dogs can vote?" Dogbert thinks, "Now, r-e-e-l him in . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, snow, mountain, jet, captain, bob, fly, luck, survive, eat, cannibal, last

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Dogbert and several other passengers stand in waist-deep snow. Dilbert says, "We're alive . . . We must have been thrown clear when the jet hit the mountain." The airplane captain says to Dilbert, "I'm Captain Bob. Sorry about the crash. What are the odds I'd hit this same mountain on every flight?" As Bob walks away Dilbert says, "We're in luck. Captain Bob knows how to survive these situations." Bob thinks, "Nice folks. I'll eat them last."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, mild, flu, normally, survive, brief, developed, empathy, die, afford, ambassador, class, service

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a patient on the examining table, "You have a mild flu, and normally you would survive." Dogbert continues, "However, in this brief visit I've developed no real empathy for you, so I've decided to let you die." The man asks, "Is there anything I can do?!" Dogbert replies, "Well . . . Unless you can afford my new 'Ambassador Class' service."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, handle, kiss, hand shake, debbie, filibuster, movies, economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the door with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "You're wondering how to handle the good night kiss . . ." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Donna says, "By a vote of two to zero we've decided not to kiss you. And Debbie has threatened a filibuster on the handshake issue." Dilbert holds his hand out and thinks, "It's a bluff." Debbie says, "Nice weather today. Have you seen any good movies? How about the economy, huh?"