Syndicated Cartoonist Comic Strips
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15 Results for Syndicated Cartoonist
View 1 - 10 results for syndicated cartoonist comic strips. Discover the best "Syndicated Cartoonist" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 22,
2005
Tags #seminar, #difficult cowrokers, #groups, #quit job, #syndicated cartoonist
Transcript
Welcome to my seminar on dealing with difficult coworkers. "Difficult coworkers generally fall into one of these groups." LAZY MEAN SMART CRAZY "The only way to deal with them is to quit your job and become a syndicated cartoonist." "Thanks for coming."
Friday December 09,
2016
Hire A Famous Cartoonist
Tags #samsung, #safety, #explosion, #battery, #marketing, #trust, #celebrity, #cartoonist, #business
Transcript
Boss: We need to regain customer trust after our exploding phone fiasco. Dogbert: You need a celebrity endorsement. People trust celebrities with their life-and-death decisions. Maybe a famous cartoonist. Boss: I don't see how that could go wrong. Narrator: Continued...
Wednesday December 14,
2016
Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist
Tags #Garfield, #hit man, #cartoonist, #mistaken identity
Transcript
Asok: I killed our spokesperson, Jim Davis, yesterday, as you ordered. Boss: You killed the wrong cartoonist! Asok: Now I hate Mondays even more.
Thursday April 23,
1998
Tags #cartoonist, #ceo, #conference, #Dilbert, #key note speakers, #politician, #useful content
Transcript
AT THE CONFERENCE Dilbert: They have some great key note speakers here. There s a CEO....A politician....another CEO...and a cartoonist. Speaker: IN they cartoon, Gilbert goes to a conference that has no useful content. Dilbert: I know guys like that,
Monday October 20,
2003
Tags #guest cartoonist, #nildo orbfutz, #consulting, #welocme, #breakroom, #on the job training
Transcript
"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" "At great expense, I've just hired Nildo Orbfutz as a consultant. He will increase our productivity hereby calculating how much time is actually wasted!" "Well, Nildo. How did you acquire your credentials? Degree in business management? HR? PR? Psychology?" "On-the-job training." "Let me guess: you've been fired from every job you ever had... for wasting time?" "Welcome to the wonderfuk world of consulting." "Answer: go to Dilbert.com."
Tuesday October 21,
2003
Tags #guest cartoonist, #rob the dinosuar, #bob, #million degrees, #costume, #you idiot, #no pay, #every has cotsume
Transcript
Whos todays Guest Cartoonist? Hi rob the dinosaur here! Today I want to.... cut! Your name is Bob! Sir, Its like a million degrees in here, Cant we take a two minute break? No! You'll do it until you get it right. you idiot! you have dissected me. no pay for you! I hate dilbert, SSH! HE'll hear you! Answer: Go to Dilbert.com
Wednesday May 02,
2007
Tags #absurd aasignments, #cartoonist, #comic embarrasing, #cubicle, #evaluate technology, #fire him, #no economical applaication, #new job
Transcript
Catbert: We have a report of a cartoonist in Cubicle 45950. His comics might embarrass the company. "We can't fire him because it would look bad. You must give him absurd assignments until he quits." The Boss: "Your new job is to evaluate technology that obviously has no economical application." "Woo hoo!"
Saturday December 10,
2016
Cartoonist As Spokesperson
Tags #spokesperson, #embarrassment, #celebrity, #promoter, #product
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.
Monday December 12,
2016
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real
Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions
Transcript
CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.
Monday October 21,
1996
Tags #cartoonits, #goat herder, #good points, #newbie identity, #technology, #technology bigot
Transcript
Dilbert types, "On the surface, you seem to make some good points about technology . . ." Dilbert types, "But your e-mail address reveals your newbie identity. You're probably a goat herder or a cartoonist." Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "How does it feel to be an elitist technology bigot?" Dilbert says, "I prefer to think of myself as a technology 'have.'"