"I'm starting a company that specializes in doing tainted research."
"The Association of Doughnut Makers asked me to prove that skinny people can't go to heaven."
"Did you see a bright light before the doctors revived you?"
"No, why?"
"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?"
"My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone."
"For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person."
"I don't want to jinx it."
Dogbert:"We need to get you on TV to publicize the tainted research I did." "The media likes celebrities, blood, environmental issues and humor." "Someone pushed a pointy-haired man in front of Larry David's car today."
Dilbert: I had a great day at work. For come reason, no one interrupted me, so I got a lot done.
Garbage man: Today is a holiday."
Dilbert: All of my victories are tainted."
CEO: I accidentally talked the board into buying a company that has a tainted reputation. Catbert: How bad is the taint? CEO: Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks. Catbert: That isn't so bad. CEO: I'm just getting started. Now imagine I make you eat those socks...
Lets start by introducing ourselves.
Susan: Im susan black from I.T.G. I work for Emily Wooten.
Max: Im Max Blumf. I work for Susan.
Alice: Im Alice. I work for....uh...I...
AAAGH!! IM filled with shame by association!!!
WHY ME? WHY WHY WHY
Please take me to your group! Im not tainted!!!
The Boss: Can we start over? I forgot who the first three people are....
Dogbert says, "You can thwart this unfriendly takeover by using something called a poison pill."
CEO: I keep one in my watch. I'll take it immediately."
Dogbert: That's not...I suppose I could feed your tainted CEO carcass to the executives of the other company.
CEO: Gurgle
The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"
