Takeover Comic Strips

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9 Results for Takeover

View 1 - 9 results for takeover comic strips. Discover the best "Takeover" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #reject, #generous, #company, #hostile takeover, #formidable, #adversary, #lawyers, #clothes off

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Dilbert says to two attorneys, "I've decided to reject your generous offer to buy the company." Dilbert continues, "And if you try to make this a hostile takeover you will find me to be a formidable adversary." Dilbert arrives at home with his clothes ripped to shreads. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then their lawyers chewed my clothes off."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #happiness, #money, #wrong, #invested, #options, #stock, #company, #desk, #zymed, #takeover, #rumors, #idiots

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broadcasted, #dsn, #identify, #jobs, #movie, #take over, #takeover

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"From now on you'll be working full time on our takeover of DSN." "You must also identify any unnecessary jobs that can be cut after the takeover." "That would be the people who worked on the take-over." "Ooh, I broadcasted that move."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #corporate, #takeover, #complete, #hostile, #bid, #meowco, #cat, #Food, #company, #efficient, #hassling, #ashamed, #hairball

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Dogbert sits at a table holding a document. He tells Dilbert, "Plans for the corporate takeover are complete." Dilbert asks, "What corporate takeover?" Dogbert replies, "It's a hostile bid for control of the Meowco Cat Food Company." Dogbert explains, "When I become CEO, I'll order them to add a hairball to every can of cat food." Dogbert chuckles. Dilbert says, "That is cruel and senseless. I'm thoroughly ashamed of you." Dilbert leaves the room. Dogbert sits on the hassock and thinks, "Gee . . . It seems so much more efficient than hassling one cat at a time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analyze data, #hostile takeover, #pattern, #laser pointer, #size head

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Dilbert pionts at an overhead projection and says, "Then if you.." A man interrupts and says, "...analyze the data." Dilbert thinks, "It's a hostile takeover of my presentation!" The man steps in front of Dilbert and says, "... you'll see a pattern." Dilbert sits on the couch at home in his robe eating ice cream. Dogbert says, "And you let him do it?" Dilbert says, "He had a laser ponter the size of your head."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pointy haired, #takeover, #should report, #secret got out, #extra money

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"Our goal is nothing less than a complete takeover of pointy-haired Carl's software division." "We'll start secretly doing their jobs in addition to our own. Then I'll argue that they should report to me." "Hypothetically, if the secret got out, would we stop working twice as hard for no extra money?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blather, #died inprocess, #grossly overpaid, #thwarted takeover

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Dogbert: I thwarted the hostile takeover bid, but your CEO died in the process. Dogbert: I'll find you someone else to blather about quality while being grossly overpaid. Dogbert: I like your look, but can you blather?" Man: Quality is my global added value!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #poison pill, #company takeover, #front, #surprise, #angry, #awkward, #uncomfortable, #skip, #pre-meeting, #business

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CEO says, "Mister Dogbert will describe our 'poison pill' strategy for preventing an unfriendly takeover." Dogbert says, "It turns out that no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged quagmire. So you're all set." Dogbert says, "Maybe next time you won't skip the pre-meeting."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poison pill, #watch, #ceo carcass, #executives

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Dogbert says, "You can thwart this unfriendly takeover by using something called a poison pill." CEO: I keep one in my watch. I'll take it immediately." Dogbert: That's not...I suppose I could feed your tainted CEO carcass to the executives of the other company. CEO: Gurgle