Takes Outosde Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

135 Results for Takes Outosde

View 1 - 10 results for takes outosde comic strips. Discover the best "Takes Outosde" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mouse, #eating food, #takes outosde, #prince, #dumpster, #ordinary mouse, #turn into prince, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Mouse: You're making a big mistake. Im no ordinary mouse, If you kissy me I'll turn into a prince!!! DiD I say "Prince"? I meant Id become the symbol for the performer formerly known as Prince. Ha ha ha!! Get it? Mouse: You're immune to both romance and mirth, you must be a..a.. Dilbert: Thats right, I'm and engineer.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recovered memory, #ritual abuse, #annual performance review, #memories fade, #takes 12 months

View Transcript

Transcript

WAlly, Dilbert and Asok sit at lunch. Asok says, "Aaargh! I'm having a recovered memory of ritual abuse!" Wally says, "You had your annual performance review this morning." Asok says, "Do the memories ever fade?" Dilbert says, "It takes about twelve months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job secuirty, #be an engineer, #takes all day, #get in on scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to Alice, at Alice's cubicle, "Alice, I need a career that has job security." Tina says, "Teach me to be an engineer. I don't care if it takes all day." Tina says, "But don't tell anyone; they'll all try to get in on this scam." Alice makes a funny face.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #money, #takes money, #makes money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: IT takes money to make money. Dilbert: Where did the first money come from? Wally: I'm pretty sure it takes money to waste money, too Boss: Please stop talking!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #takes picture, #flash spot, #vision, #place ads, #little spot, #huge personal violation, #your privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: When someone takes your picture, the flash spot stays in your vision for a few seconds. I want you to figure out how to place ads on that little spot. Dilbert: That would be a huge personal violation. CEO: Bah! You said the same thing when we took your privacy.

Takes Money To Make Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Takes Money To Make Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking questions, #faith, #idiom, #idioms, #money, #questioning, #sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It takes money to make money. Dilbert: Then... where did the first money come from? Boss: God? Dilbert: Don't let him hear doubt in your voice.

It Takes More Than Luck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Takes More Than Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #intelligence, #privilege, #nepotism, #obliviousness, #confusion

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laundry

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks into the washing machine and says, "I knew I shouldn't have left the laundry in the washer all night." Dogbert says, "I'll get a chisel." Dilbert takes the clothes out and says, "It seems to have coagulated into a grotesque dried-up-fiber-donut-sculpture-kind-of-a-thing." Dilbert points to the bundle and says, "I think this is a sleeve of my sport coat." Dogbert asks, "Do you want that in a size 38?"