Search Results for "talented"
Search Filters
Year
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
Friday February 11,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #facebook, #robot arm, #talented employees, #giant condescending facebook
Transcript
Catbert says, "Facebook has created a giant robot arm to steal talented employees from other companies." Catbert says, "It's here!!!" Catbert says, "No, it looks like we got the giant condescending Facebook robot arm instead."
Wednesday April 17,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #work, #clothes, #talented, #Family, #sews, #hate, #wife, #marriage
Transcript
A man in a strange shirt says to Dilbert, "My wife sews all of my work clothes. She's the talented one in the family." Dilbert looks at the man's oddly shaped shirt. Dilbert asks, "She hates you, doesn't she?" The man says, "Why do you ask?"
Tuesday June 21,
1994
Tags #most talented, #technical professional, #Dogbert, #professional head hunter
Transcript
"Hello, this is Dogbert's professional headhunting service." "I find jobs for the most talented technical professionals. Several people mentioned your name." "So, is it true they'll be looking for somebody to fill your job soon? Hello?"
Tuesday June 25,
1996
Tags #sit do mothing, #implement, #bold quality initiative, #talented, #energetic coworkers
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks, "I could sit here doing nothing." Dilbert clenches his fists, looks determined and thinks, "Or I could implement a bold quality initiative with the help of my talented and energetic co-workers." Dilbert thinks, "I crack me up."
Sunday October 04,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #smart, #good-looking, #objective, #hypothetical, #talented, #qualities, #annoy, #dog, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit under a tree. Dilbert asks, "Do you think it's better to be smart or good-looking, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I've been both for so long, it's hard to be objective." Dilbert says, "It's hypothetical. Suppose you had to pick one." Dogbert replies, "I'd stay as I am: smart, good-looking and talented." Dilbert says, "You can't add stuff. You have to start with nothing and pick either brains or good looks." Dogbert continues, "And witty too . . . Smart, good-looking, talented and witty." Dilbert says, "No, no, no . . . Suppose you had NONE of those qualities. What would you do then?" Dogbert replies, "I'd probably annoy my dog, same as you."
Saturday February 16,
2008
Tags #ambulance chaser, #cometition, #rumor, #salvage assets, #talented coworker, #new guy
Transcript
Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.
Sunday November 16,
2014
Tags #criticism, #frankness, #goals, #honesty, #managers, #root cause, #bad parenting, #pointy headed boos, #underlings, #rapidly evolving nature, #talented employee, #boss life story
Transcript
Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.
Saturday February 01,
1997
Tags #more work, #feeling unappreciated, #hard working employee, #hourly basis
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in front of the coffee machine. Wally says, "The more work I do, the more I'm given." Wally continues, "It doesn't pay to be a talented and hard-working employee." Dilbert asks, "How's it pay to be YOU?" Wally replies, "Not bad on an hourly basis."
Sunday March 01,
2009
Tags #meeting, #hiring, #renaming, #confusion, #anger, #business
Transcript
The boss says, "We're changing the name of our staffing group to 'Talent acquisition.'" the boss says, "This reflects our new focus on hiring only highly talented people." Dilbert says, "Doesn't that imply that your current employees are inferior to the ones you plan to hire?" The boss says , "Sort of." Dilbert says, "And since you routinely fire the worst performing employees..." Dilbert says, "you have just sealer our doom while expecting us to remain loyal to the company." Wally says, "now all I can thin k about are ways to vandalize the servers before I become homeless." The boss says, "I over-communicated again."
Friday October 26,
2007
Tags #drunken lemurs, #have talent, #busy, #fixing problems
Transcript
Dilbert: "Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?" Garbageman: "Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." Dilbert: "Why are talented people so busy?" Garbageman: "They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."