Talented Coworker Comic Strips
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244 Results for Talented Coworker
View 1 - 10 results for talented coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Talented Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 16,
2008
Tags #ambulance chaser, #cometition, #rumor, #salvage assets, #talented coworker, #new guy
Transcript
Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.
Friday February 11,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #facebook, #robot arm, #talented employees, #giant condescending facebook
Transcript
Catbert says, "Facebook has created a giant robot arm to steal talented employees from other companies." Catbert says, "It's here!!!" Catbert says, "No, it looks like we got the giant condescending Facebook robot arm instead."
Wednesday April 17,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #work, #clothes, #talented, #Family, #sews, #hate, #wife, #marriage
Transcript
A man in a strange shirt says to Dilbert, "My wife sews all of my work clothes. She's the talented one in the family." Dilbert looks at the man's oddly shaped shirt. Dilbert asks, "She hates you, doesn't she?" The man says, "Why do you ask?"
Tuesday June 21,
1994
Tags #most talented, #technical professional, #Dogbert, #professional head hunter
Transcript
"Hello, this is Dogbert's professional headhunting service." "I find jobs for the most talented technical professionals. Several people mentioned your name." "So, is it true they'll be looking for somebody to fill your job soon? Hello?"
Tuesday June 25,
1996
Tags #sit do mothing, #implement, #bold quality initiative, #talented, #energetic coworkers
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks, "I could sit here doing nothing." Dilbert clenches his fists, looks determined and thinks, "Or I could implement a bold quality initiative with the help of my talented and energetic co-workers." Dilbert thinks, "I crack me up."
Sunday October 04,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #smart, #good-looking, #objective, #hypothetical, #talented, #qualities, #annoy, #dog, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit under a tree. Dilbert asks, "Do you think it's better to be smart or good-looking, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I've been both for so long, it's hard to be objective." Dilbert says, "It's hypothetical. Suppose you had to pick one." Dogbert replies, "I'd stay as I am: smart, good-looking and talented." Dilbert says, "You can't add stuff. You have to start with nothing and pick either brains or good looks." Dogbert continues, "And witty too . . . Smart, good-looking, talented and witty." Dilbert says, "No, no, no . . . Suppose you had NONE of those qualities. What would you do then?" Dogbert replies, "I'd probably annoy my dog, same as you."
Saturday March 20,
2010
Tags #coworker, #question, #hold out paper, #technical accuracy, #no, #coffee, #bad attitude, #harsh, #grumpy
Transcript
Coworker says, "Alice, can you check this for technical accuracy?" Alice says, "Nope. Don't have time." Alice says, "And no one else is qualified, so you might as well give up and look for a new job." Coworker says, "That was a bit harsh." Alice says, "You'd be less worthless if you fetched me some coffee."
Monday July 19,
2010
Tags #Opinion, #bad decision, #consistency, #coworker, #confused
Transcript
Coworker says, "Would you like my opinion on how you should handle that?" Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll just try to ignore the fact that your entire career has been a colorful tapestry of bad decisions." Coworker says, "So? yes?" Dilbert says, "I admire your consistency."
Monday October 04,
2010
Tags #coworker, #human resources, #sit on table, #broke arm, #bandage, #alice, #angry, #engineer, #math, #education, #business, #engineering
Transcript
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"
Friday October 22,
2010
Tags #friend matrix, #coworker, #sit at computer, #computer expert, #frisky friend, #low standards
Transcript
Coworker says, "I'm updating my friend resource matrix and I have a few gaps." Coworker says, "I already have a friend with a truck, a friend who gives me free tickets, and a friend with tools." Coworker says, "I've got openings for a computer expert friend and a frisky friend with low standards." Dilbert says, "I'll try the computer one."