Talk About Products Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Talk About Products
View 1 - 10 results for talk about products comic strips. Discover the best "Talk About Products" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 29,
2010
Tags #phone, #lunch, #talk about products, #reject, #woman, #attractive
Transcript
Carl says, "Let's have lunch so I can tell you about our products." Dilbert says, "No thanks." Dilbert says, "I don't like meeting new people." Dilbert says, "Every person I meet chips away at my freedom." Dilbert says, "If I have lunch with you, I'll feel an obligation to return your pestering phone calls." Dilbert says, "My lunchtime is the only chance I get during the day to scrape off the leeches." Dilbert says, "Nothing personal." Woman says, "Do you want to have lunch and discuss our new product line?" Dilbert says, "Sure!" Dilbert says, "Carl, you are totally in the wrong profession."
Wednesday July 22,
2020
No Talk About Morale
Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic
Transcript
dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.
Friday October 19,
2001
Tags #talk about layoffs, #hostile questions, #reading, #newspapaer, #reeking slime
Transcript
Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "We need to have an all- company meeting to talk about the layoffs." Catbert continues, "You might get some hostile questions owing to the fact that they found out about the layoffs by reading the newspaper." The Boss stands at a podium. He says, "No, I've never noticed that I leave a trail of reeking slime wherever I slither."
Monday June 10,
2002
Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."
Thursday June 03,
2004
Tags #lunch, #wine, #Dilbert, #talk about people, #fertilair, #digging dirt, #intern drunk, #taking notes
Transcript
"Asok, let's go to lunch. I'll buy." "Really?" "We'll have some wine, maybe talk about people that we both know." "Fun!" "And what does Dilbert call me?" "The fertiliar! Ha ha!"
Wednesday September 26,
2007
Tags #high priority tasks, #launched, #abyss of total nothingness, #never talk about you
Transcript
Dilbert: Today I complete my high priority tasks and launched them into the miasma. "There they will rot from neglect while I draw closer to the abyss of eternal nothingness." Ratbert: "I have an idea. Let's never talk about you."
Sunday October 11,
1998
Tags #must delight customoers, #stop price gauging, #stop selling defective products, #talking about customers, #delighting customers, #empathy
Transcript
The Boss sits at the head of the conference table. He says, "It's not enough to 'serve' our customers..." The Boss continues, "We must DELIGHT them!" Alice asks, "You mean we have to stop price-gouging?" The Boss replies, "No, I think we can still do that." Wally raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh!I know!" Wally continues, "We could stop selling products with known defects." The Boss shouts, "I'm talking about products, not customers!!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and asks, "Do you feel like delighting customers?" Dilbert replies, "I barely have the empathy to pity them."
Monday August 15,
2011
Tags #conversation, #suspicion, #no clue, #software works, #wear noisier shoes, #talk behind back
Transcript
Dilbert: Wow, the guy who wrote this doesn't have a clue how software works. Man: When you talk about people behind their backs, it makes me wonder what you say about me. Alice: I think we just solved that mystery. Dilbert: You should wear noisier shoes.
Thursday November 17,
2011
Tags #boredom, #golf, #golf game, #boss, #talk about game, #locked in syndrome, #no visitors, #Sports
Transcript
Boss: Who wants to hear about my golf game? Alice: Maybe someone with locked-in syndrome who doesn't get any visitors. Boss: Just for that, I'm going to tell you twice. Alice: No, please. I'll do anything.
Friday April 26,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #ufo, #warned, #talk, #circles, #leave, #wheat, #fields, #else, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert's clothes look burned and smoke rises from his body. Dilbert says, "I was attacked by a UFO. They warned me not to talk about the circles they leave in wheat fields." The flying saucer returns and zaps Dilbert and Dogbert. Dilbert and Dogbert are both burned. Dilbert continues, "Then they said 'Or else.'"